"No shoving, you little monsters! I'm Doris Sue, HLIC (Head Lunchlady In Charge) at the Kids.Woot Deal Cafeteria, and I run an orderly lunchroom! We're warming enough back-to-school deals under these red lights for everyone. Nobody goes hungry if Doris Sue has anything to say about it. But this buffet doesn't have any brussels sprouts, 60% beef burgers, or chocolate milk that expires tomorrow. This Deal Cafeteria is all about the back-to-school specials!
"All week long, our stainless steel pans will be heaped with everything you need to start the school year satisfied. We're talking daily main dish deals, some Woot Plus event sides - and we're serving up one steaming scoop after another, Monday through Saturday, on the Kids.Woot front page. So grab a tray, get in line, and pile up the mouth-watering school-supply bargains at the Deal Cafeteria!
"No horseplay from you, no horsemeat from us - just all the back-to-school deals you can eat or my name's not Doris Sue! But first, let me see those hands. I run a clean Deal Cafeteria here."