Don't let anyone catch you holding the thermometer up to a light bulb, and you've got it made.

Faking being sick takes a lot of hard work and dedication. One smile too many at the thought of spending an entire day on the couch in your Spongebob Snuggie and Slipper Socks, watching cartoons, and eating ice cream all day, and, man, you are going to be in a world of trouble. 

Just keep it simple, okay? Keep a slightly moist rag in one of the Snuggie's pockets to that you can use on your forehead and hands to make it look like you've got the sweats, and stay as quiet as possible. Mom or Dad will eventually ask you if you want anything, so make sure you answer them in the weakest, most pathetic way possible when requesting ice cream or control of the remote. Cough a little, but don't over do it. And, for goodness sake, tell someone you're feeling a little better around mid-afternoon. One day is enough, kiddo. You push it too far and there'll be a doctor visit that'll end your mini-vacation real quick.

Back to top