Zzzzyessszzz? What zztroubleszzz you, preciouszz zzzchild?
“Well, Zapi, don’t get mad, OK? But some people – some people on the Internet, Zapi, they were saying some things about you. Some not very nice things. And now I’m just, just so, well, confused.”
Zzzzinterezzting. Pleaszzz, tell me more. What kindszzz of thingszzz?
“They don’t believe in you, Zapi. I know your germicidal ultraviolet light kills 99.9% of germs on my toothbrush. But they don’t, Zapi. They don’t. They say you don’t drain very well and mildew grows inside you and it just makes my head start screaming when they say thos things, Zapi! It just makes me so mad! But Zapi, what if, Zapi, they’re right?”
Zzzzdon’t zzzstart thinking zzzthat way, preciouszz zzzchild. Don’t let our enemieszzz poiszzon you againszzzt me.
“I mean, I’ve never seen any mildew inside you, Zapi, gosh now. And negative Internet reviews are usually written by malcontents who happened to get the one defective unit in a whole shipment. Everybody knows that, Zapi. I just need, I dunno, reassurance or something.”
Zzzzthere, there. The world can be zzzsuch a zzzscary placezzzz. Zzzzapi will make the bad voiceszzz go away. Zzzstare deeply into my eyeszzzz now. Zzzsee my happy zzzsmile?
“I do, Zapi. I do see it.”
Zzzzdoes thiszzz look like the zzzsmile of zzzsomeone who would let naszzzty germszzz infect your mouth? Zzzstare deeply now, preciouszz zzzchild. Doeszzz it?
“No, Zapi. I know you’d never hurt me. Thank you, Zapi. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you, Zapi. I love you.”
