Long ago, there were no known colors. There was only Arthur, or Art for short.

Art lived in a gray hut in an expansive gray dessert. Nothing much happened in Art’s life. He ate a little gray bowl full of little gray food three times every day, tended to his little gray well, and was generally content.

Then one day, a billowing gray storm rolled in and knocked his gray hut to bits. All Art could salvage from the wreckage was his gray sack. “I will take this gray sack and I will walk until I find somewhere else to live,” he said to himself.

So he walked. And walked. And walked some more, until he found, on one of the dunes, a lone lemon. Its bright yellow hue took him by surprise. “What magnificent orb is this?” Art wondered aloud. He decided to put it into his sack and take it with him. “When I find my new home, I will create a tool with which to reproduce that color,” he declared to no one.

Then he walked again for a long time, until, in a deep valley, he found an apple. “Look at this dark, beautiful object,” he thought. “I shall bring this along as well, and create a second tool to render its complexion.”

And so Art walked on, until he found a patch of grass. “Look here at this vibrant growth,” he said, taking a clump into his hand…

EDITOR: Whoa, hold on, is this going where I think it’s going? With Art picking up something for each and every piece in this 225-Piece Deluxe Wood Art Set by Art101?

Well, that was the plan…

EDITOR: No! No, no, no, no. I know we pride ourselves on the whole “creative freedom” thing here at Woot, but there’s no way that you are writing 225 paragraphs, understand?

But that totally undermines the story I had going! Don’t you see: the character Art stands for art!

EDITOR: Well, you don’t say? Art? Is art?? WOW! I HAD NO IDEA! But, regardless of your symbolism – which is about as subtle as a bowling ball lit on fire – the order still stands. You’re going to have to cut this down.

How?

EDITOR: I don’t know, you’re the writer. What if he finds something with a bunch of colors? Like, a rainbow?

Art can’t take a rainbow with him.

EDITOR: Okay, a peacock! There, that should kill all the colors and everything, right? You’re going to need all sorts of crayons and pastels and watercolor cakes to do a peacock, right?

You really expect someone to trudge through a dessert with a peacock in a sack? C’mon! That’s ridiculous!

EDITOR: What? You’re talking about a guy who lives in an entirely gray world and eats unnamed gray food. The reader’s disbelief is thoroughly suspended. But fine, come up with something else if you want. But it needs to knock out at least twenty colors at once, so that you can move this thing along, okay?

Oh, I got just the thing. How’s this work: Then Art walked until he found a 225-Piece Deluxe Wood Art Set by Art101. THE END. STORY’S OVER.

EDITOR: Look, I was just trying to help. You don’t need to be so passive aggressive about it.

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