Take little steps… away from the edge, traffic instructor.

Hello all and welcome to the Multiple Offender Program. Each of you has been convicted of more than one DWI and each one of you has been deemed an irresponsible user of drugs and/or alcohol. Throughout this course, we will be watching several videos. The content of these videos may be gruesome and unsettling, but you are required, by law, to watch them. Any questions before we get started? Good. I’ll put in the first video.

Oh… wait, a minute… I must’ve forgotten the course videos at home and grabbed my daughter’s Little Steps ABC’s & 123’s – Interactive Learning 6 DVD Set by accident. Hmmm, well, I don’t want to bore you to death by just talking for the next four hours, so let’s just pop these in and see what we can learn from them, okay? I mean, at least we’ll get a good dose of classical music, along with some bright, engaging graphics, right?

Alright, DVD 1: ABC’s. Here we go! Ahh, looks like we’re following the Alphabet Train through a series of adventures. Hear those voices calling out letters? Imagine yourself as one of those voices, but instead of calling out letters, you’re calling out to friends and family members for help with your untreated addictions. How about that, huh? Applies almost directly to our class, huh? No? Not so much? Well, forget that DVD then, let’s move onto the next one…

DVD 2, counting – this one is directly applicable! While we go on this quest to find the numeral ten, consider how you can go on your own personal quest to discover a way to have less than ten shots before getting behind the wheel, alright? That works, right? You know what, maybe we’ll skip this one too…

Okay so DVD 3 is about numbers, which we just went over, so no thanks. How about DVD 4? Oh, phonics! Looks like we’re taking a trip to the zoo, everyone! I guess we’re supposed to call out the names of animals to learn proper phonetic pronunciation. This’ll be really helpful for you guys, you know with all the stating clearly for the court you’ll be doing, you know? Wow, who would have thought that none of these DVDs would work for MOP students??

For DVD 5 it looks like we’re back on the Alphabet Train. What should you take away from this? Maybe next time take the train home so you avoid getting another DWI? And the last DVD is baby preschool… which just goes to show that you… never can learn enough… You know what, forget it! I give up! It’s only 10am and this day is already RUINED! Who else needs a drink? I’m buying the first round.

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