Look around you, Mom. All you see right now is a flower bed, right? Well, picture this: the world’s first luxury hotel & casino for fairies.

That’s right. Two towers of luxury suites where your gladiolus are now, with all the fairy amenities. Down on the ground floor is the casino, the restaurants, and the nightclub, which I’m calling F. I got a guy working on a recipe for a honeysuckle martini, and I’m trying to find some tiny little velvet ropes. Pure class all the way. We’ll put the swimming pool and spa over there under the hostas. They go crazy for that nature stuff.

It’s a totally untapped market. And me, I’m gonna be the Bugsy Siegel of 417 Sunset Creek Circle. It’s my vision, my plan, and my Imex Construction Series 44” Red Heavy Duty Crane. With this diecast, fully operational boom crane, the tiny I-beams will be swinging through the sky like Bobby Darin. Did you realize this thing extends to over 44” tall? That’s like twenty stories at fairy scale. From the barren wasteland of your flower garden, I’ll conjure up a glittering paradise of sun and sin, luring fairies from all over the world with the promise of total indulgence. You know me, Mom. I never say anything can’t miss. But this? This can’t miss.

What do you mean, “Fairies aren’t real”? You kidding me? Seriously? Man. I’m gonna have a heck of a time explaining this to my investors.

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