The following is a personality test to determine if you should buy today’s Fisher-Price Smart Cycle for your child. Please click through to begin…

Please ask your child to read these four questions with you. Their answers will determine the type of person they are. Please ask them to answer honestly and with their first reaction. Scoring will follow at the conclusion of the test.

QUESTION ONE: Which of these fictional characters do you most identify with?

A: The guy from The Prisoner. I love how he’d face a world that combined old fashioned bicycles with action-filled computer screens for crazy results.
B: The main characters from Easy Rider. They only wanted to explore the land they called their home.
C: The hero of The Phantom Tollbooth. He made learning into an exciting journey that I hoped would never end!
D: The Fonz from Happy Days. He’d get on his bike and… aaaaay!

QUESTION TWO: What would be your most likely goal in a video game?

A: I’d really be looking for a secrets, you know? Like maybe an arcade mode hidden in a pit stop, or some subtext about man’s inhumanity to man. But more likely the arcade mode.
B: I want lots of places to explore. Maybe a mountain and a lake. And car racing.
C: I want lots of math games. And some language games too. And maybe some shapes. I can’t get enough education in my life!
D: I just want to ride, baby. A little physical activity and maybe some on-screen customization options. Aaaaay.

QUESTION THREE: How do you prefer to exercise?

A: I like to be trapped in one place for a long period of time. And if you can get a growling ball to guard me, that’d be ideal.
B: I like to be able to dream as I exercise. Maybe about a better world, where people don’t have to get haircuts.
C: I prefer thinking over exercise, but I guess I could be convinced to do both.
D: I only exercise because I want to impress the DelVeccio triplets. Aaaaaay.

QUESTION FOUR: What is your ultimate goal in life?

A: To escape, hopefully by overthrowing the system that traps me in a world of numbers. Naturally I’ll need to know how to manipulate those numbers for my own ends.
B: To see it all, man. I want to fill some sort of “creative journal” with snapshots and pictures of everything I did and solved.
C: To make new friends! Especially if they encourage me while I’m playing the game. It’s great to make new imaginary buddies.
D: To know enough math so that I can calculate gear ratios and maybe fill out a milage notebook. Because I just want to be on my bike, you know? Aaaaay.

Answer Key: Give yourself one point for every A, two points for every B, three points for every C and four points for every D. Check your total score against the answer key below.

0 – 4 POINTS:

You’re pretty well rounded! You know that a healthy mind and a healthy body go hand in hand. But you’re also trying to break away from the system that keeps you obedient. The Fisher Price Smart Cycle will be the perfect mix of challenging and educating, stimulating your mind as it helps you cycle away the stress. Just remember that it’s locked down, so don’t think it’ll help you escape. There’s no escape here.

5 – 8 POINTS:

Whoa, man! You’re the kind of visionary that would have fit nicely in times past. With the Fisher Price Smart Cycle, you’ll be able to travel those exciting lands like “Math Mountain” and “Shape Lake” and even find a racing game! Plus you’ll burn off that nervous energy that might otherwise get in the way of your studies and send you across the country in some crazy attempt to find yourself. Just skip right to the “selling out” part, okay? It’ll save everybody a lot of time.

9 – 12 POINTS:

Well, you’re a reader, aren’t you? And puns, you probably love puns. Don’t you worry, the Fisher Price Smart Cycle puts education above exercise. Even still, the games are constructed so you’ve got to pedal to play, so you’ll be getting exercise by default. But at least those legs will be strong when you have to out run the bullies.

13 – 16 POINTS:

Caught you, Mom and Dad! We said to have your CHILD take this test! And no child on the planet wants to be a ‘50s greaser these days. Let’s face it, you’re so old that the first wave of nostalgia is now something you’re nostalgic for. If you want to connect with your kid today, you’ve gotta get a Fisher Price Smart Cycle and let them learn to interact with and learn from imaginary computer people. That’s the only way they’re going to grow up and get straight aaaaaay’s.

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