A good conductor is gold. A great conductor is famous forever.

When your little one is on stage at the Metropolitan Opera House, bowing to the crowd, you’re going to feel like you really succeeded as a parent. But conducting isn’t a thing you learn overnight. You need the right combination of genius, talent, a disdain for actually playing an instrument in public, and a really sweet baton.

Now, Fisher Price isn’t a name associated with high art, certainly, but this Lil’ Einstein Leo’s Baton is an entry level baton that will help your child on the path to total crushing authoritarianistic control of his or her orchestra. You see, with three songs built right in, your child will have a baseline by which he or she can judge others. And woe to those others if they stray from the grand vision! They might get shot with the make-believe death ray that comes from the built in light!

And if your child just isn’t into music? Well, the Lil’ Einstein Leo’s Baton also doubles as a crayon holder! Sure, it only takes one crayon at a time, but c’mon, Mark Rothko made his fortune that way.

No matter how you look at it, the Fisher Price Lil’ Einstein Leo’s Baton is your ticket to a kid in the arts. You might as well go ahead and price that Park Avenue apartment right now.

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