See? You hold it like that. You gotta learn this airbrush stuff before I turn you loose on Daddy’s van.

I’d do it myself, but the people at the substance-abuse clinic say I shouldn’t trust myself around anything with fumes. So I’m counting on you, son. Once you master this Crayola Color Wonder Sprayer, I’ll be one step closer to the van mural of my dreams.

Heck, if it wasn’t for the fact that the ink only appears on the included Color Wonder paper, I might let you take a crack at the van right now. I bet you could spray up a real cool Gandalf with the included orange, cyan, green and fuchsia inks.

Hey, I was thinking, on my sketch, I know Gandalf’s playing a regular guitar. But let’s make it one of those double guitars. I figure he’d need that much rock power to beat that half-hyena, half-unicorn monster. I mean, just look at the boobs on that thing. They’re practically bursting out of that chainmail bustier! No wonder those ghost mastodons look so freaked out. Just wait ‘til I roll up to work in that masterpiece. I’d like to see that stuck-up Tina call me a “sad, intellectually stunted man-child” again.

So keep on practicing with that Crayola Color Wonder Sprayer. I’ll be ding-danged if I pay those idiots at Mystical Coachworks five hundred bucks to realize my artistic vision. Spray, boy!

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