How are you ever going to be a successful hobo if you don’t learn a little bit about life on the rails?

No, buddy, you cannot go back inside and take a bath. We’ve only been out here in the relative comfort of backyard for six nights now! There aren’t even any rabid dogs to you bite you or cops to hassle you out here. You’ll never earn the respect of your average train yard vagrant with an attitude like that. You’ll only sound like a whiner.

I bet I know what’ll take your mind of your own stink! Let’s send the Bachmann Cargo King Train Set for another trip around the old oak tree, huh? We can pretend we’re hiding in one of the four finely detailed, HO-Scale freight cars, riding along the rails of the snap-fit E-Z track and over the Signal Bridge, and heading into town at the Suburban Station to hassle some of the locals for change or a bite to eat. That’ll be fun, right? Just hold of the speed controller and off we’ll COUGH COUGH cough cough COUGH cough cough...

Ugh. Sounds like Daddy needs a bit of his medicine. Hand me my flask, son, then finish your beans. There’s no telling whether or not you’ll be eating tomorrow, you know.

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