Tomorrow is the MLB All Star game! Buy some cards to celebrate!

Welcome to Baseball Cards 101. I'm your professor, Dr. Sigmund Brownstein.

As most of you know, this is a new class. Because of budget cuts, your school has elected to drop science and math classes and has gone for the more affordable option: this.

I trust you have all acquired the necessary supplies to participate in the class, and by that I mean the "All Star Baseball Card Bundle."  

Now, you see I am holding one of the cards. What we will do for this class is we will turn the card around like so, and we will look at the back of the card. On the back are the players' stats. By analyzing these stats, you will learn some aspects of very simple math, which your faculty members have decided will teach you everything you need to know about mathematics. That's right -- knowing a player's stats is just as valuable as knowing the quadratic formula.

Well, that's the class. This is what we will be doing each week. This way, when your parents want to know that your tuition dollars are being put to use, you can proudly show them your transcript that includes Baseball Cards 101.

Oh, wait, and before I forget: each of you will each get one David Ortiz card so, if for whatever crazy reason this class doesn't lead to immediate employment after college, maybe you can make a few bucks off that.

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