Babies are like gourmets: they prefer slow-heated to microwaved. To babies, a bottle warmer kit is like a coal-fired pizza oven: always the sign of a classy joint.Jake’s List Of Things Mommy Says I Have To Write Down And Remember:
40: The bottle warmer is for the babies who come to visit, like Gavin or Bristol. Not for me.
41: Just because it is a cow print, that does not mean it is appropriate to make jokes like "that bottle is udderly ridiculous" no matter how many times Daddy says it's a good joke.
42: It's probably best to not trust Daddy at all when it comes to humor.
43: The warming pads are for giving bottles a slow, even heat to help them reach a tepid state perfect for babies, but are not to be used for melting chocolate chip cookies.
44: I will never try to give a chocolate chip cookie to a baby even if it does go well with milk.
45: When I see "BPA free" I should not focus on just the word free.
46: The situation with Tibet is complex and not something I should just joke about because I saw it on TV that one time.
47: Ten hours of warming is useful for the baby, however, if I want to time something, I should just go look at a clock.
48: I will never again ask if I can time how long it takes the baby to fall off the couch "to learn about physics" even if I am planning to drop him onto a cushion.
48a: However, I did the right thing by asking before I tried, and that is the only reason I'm not in big trouble.
49: Next time Gavin comes over, I have to do what Olivia says until he leaves.