My Kid is Better Than Your Kid
Drinking from an advanced stage bottle is a clear sign that your kid is never going to live up to your unrealistic expectations.
"So, how's little Gracie doing? Is she in to the 9-ounce Stage 2 bottle yet?"
Oh yeah. She mastered that, like, weeks ago. She's even using the Stage 3 nipple now. What about Maddox?
"Of course. Truthfully, I think he's just about ready for the 7-ounce Stage 4 training cup. His facial and jaw muscles are REALLY advanced."
That's really great. Our doctor actually told us that Gracie's feeding rhythm is so natural it's almost SUPER natural.
"Wow. Yeah. That's cool. So is Gracie using the 2-in-1 cleaning brush to clean her own bottles yet? Because Maddox is, and he's really been a big help."
No, she's not.
"Oh. That's too bad. Well, I'm sure she'll get there. Kids just do things in their own time, you know?"
Yeah, I suppose. It's just that she's so busy cooking gourmet meals for us all, I can't possibly expect her to clean up too, ya know?
"Your … your 9-month-old cooks?"
Oh yeah. We took this Mommy and Me cooking class a few weeks back, and she really took to it. She's actually gonna be on that new show with Gordon Ramsey, Baby Chef.
"Yeah, Maddox was going to do that too. It's just that he's so busy with his pilot lessons."
I didn't think we'd be able to swing it either, what with Gracie's rock climbing camp and that opus she's composing. But you just have to make the time, you know?