Union City Blues
These National Geographic Cardboard Playsets are simple to build, but be aware: you'll still have to conform to local labor laws.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mom and Dad, hold up! You can't just pick up my National Geographic Cardboard Playsets and start putting it together like that! I don't care that the tabs and slots fit together easy and simple! What are you guys, scabs? Maybe we need to replace the Medieval Castle with a giant inflatable RAT!
DEVON! JOSHUA! GET YOUR COLORING TOOLS OUT! Mom, Dad, really, I love you, but you can't be here on a work site. There are VERY specific union rules about how to handle these playsets. Like, just because you CAN color them so that every building is personalized, that doesn't mean YOU can color them, you get what I'm saying? I couldn't even let the architect near the Safari Cruiser's bonus lion cutout without a written pass from the insurance lawyer. Oh, hang on, JOSHUA! DON'T GO NEAR THE T-REX! QUARANTINE! RIGHT, WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT A DNA CROSS-COMBINE ISSUE! Sorry, Joshua's mom hasn't let him watch Jurassic Park on DVD yet, so he's not totally clear on how dangerous an imaginary T-Rex can be when not held behind imaginary force fields. Anyway, where was I?
Oh, yeah, the Medieval Castle. Listen, we're happy to have you here for the Grand Opening, you'll get the whole VIP then. You're the money, right? We need you! But you bought the National Geographic Cardboard Playsets and you did your job. We all appreciate that, DON'T WE APPRECIATE THAT, BOYS? See? So let me and my team take care of the setup now, and you guys go back to the living room and stay out of the way.
JOSHUA! YO! I MEAN IT! DON'T CROSS THAT INVISIBLE FORCE FIELD! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR MOM SAYS ABOUT GIVING YOU NIGHTMARES, WE'RE IMAGINING THAT THING'S DANGEROUS TODAY! Sheesh! The longer this day goes on, the more I'm gonna regret not letting Mom and Dad build this for me.