He can be whatever he wants to be when he grows up, as long as it’s a professional football player.

And as long as it’s quarterback. For Green Bay. Have you even seen this kid’s spiral? Sure, you could give all the credit to the real laces on his Coop Gription footballs, but he’s only 5 and his Pee Wee coach says he’s got the arm of a 6 1/2-year-old. You just can’t buy that kind of natural talent.

I guess it’d be ok if he was running back or wide receiver instead. I call him my little sticky fingers because 5 times out of 10, he never misses a catch. And also because he sometimes steals things, but mostly because he rarely misses a catch. Sure, the super grip clear skin makes these balls easier to catch than any other, but that’s just the cherry on top of his obviously superior dexterity and coordination.

A lot of people say I’m pushing him too hard, but that’s just ridiculous. He loves football! Just last night he said, “I’m hungry” and “Please can I go to bed now?” But what he meant was that he eats, sleeps and breathes this game! He even showers with his footballs when I sneak in and toss them over the curtain. Gotta stay on your toes if you’re gonna make it to the big time, and these Coop Griptions are perfect for all weather conditions and terrain.

Now he’s just out practicing his field goals before school and … hang on a minute. If I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a thousand times, LACES OUT, KENNY! AWWW COME ON! YOU MISSED THAT BY A MILE! Well it’s not like anyone aspires to be the kicker, anyway.

Back to top