Relax, Tyler. Focus on only the sound of my voice. Return in your mind to the time that affected you most in three… two… one… SLEEP!

And AWAKE!

“Huh? What… What happened? Why am I all sweaty? Why are all these lamps and table broken? My heart’s racing…”

You’re fine, Tyler. You’re just fine. You regressed back to a particularly traumatic event in your childhood. I had to pull you out of your trance before it could do any more damage to your psyche.

“Does that mean you found it? You located the event in my life that makes me feel so lost and depressed?”

I believe so, yes, however…

“Well what is it, doc? Was it the night my father died? Was it because my favorite aunt was an alcoholic? Or was it some schoolyard rejection that I’ve repressed for so long? Come on, doc, I don’t want to feel like this anymore! I gotta know! What memory did I just relive?”

Sigh. Well, it seems the origin of your inescapable sadness stems from a trip to a toy store. Apparently, you desperately wanted a Mega Bloks Thomas & Friends Mountain Adventure Construction Set, but your mother couldn’t buy it for you and you threw a fit in the store until she dragged you out.

”...That’s it? The reason I can’t love or be loved is because I didn’t get a 160-piece buildable train play set featuring Thomas and Percy? Wait, how did I even know that?”

Apparently, you blocked the entire event out completely. Your conscious mind has no recollection of the Sodor bridge, tunnels, track switcher, turntable, tipping coal hopper, or rock chute. But your subconscious still associates all of your hopes and dreams with the eight building plates and building base storage bin. We may never know why, exactly, but it seems the resulting tantrum stunted your emotional growth for the rest of your life.

“My God, that’s… that’s… the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Say, you can’t tell anyone about this, right? That whole doctor-patient confidentiality is in effect, yeah? ‘Cause I’m just going to tell people I lost the woman I loved in a gang fight or something.”

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