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Yo, yo, we're here to "rap" with you "peeps" in your own language, "dig" what we're "saying" here? Wow, this slang thing is super hard. How did Anthony Burgess do it? Anyway, we think you kids will like this furniture. Even if you do wear your pants too low. STAY OFF OUR LAWN!
Despite having read the Harry Potter series cover to cover, your child has zero desire to live in a cupboard. Get 'em nice furniture or they'll start demanding their own magic owl the day they turn eleven.