Are You Sleeping Yet? Please?

The screaming. The laughing. The exaggerated farting. The kids are awake, and there's nothing I can do about it. My life is an existential nightmare of my own creation, and I have no escape. All i can do is wearily nurture these shrieking noise machines until they finally reach 18. Bags under my eyes. If only they would sleep...

Ends on January 2 at 9AM CT

About Sleeping Children

They're mercifully silent. I don't have any jokes here. No witty line. Just a deep and profound appreciation for a few uninterrupted moments without screaming, belching, or the Wiggles. If you listen very closely, you can hear it: the sound of parental regret gently receding.