"I can just picture it," said Tim, looking at the bear on the toy store shelf. "It'd be somewhere in Warrior's Valhalla…"

Michelle didn't look up, but talked in a whisper. "Tim, so help me, if you don't stop playing with the Smart-e-Bear..."

Tim looked at his wife, looked at his son, and dropped into character.

"WHO DARES ENTER THE HALL OF HEROES!"

Jake handed his father a loose action figure. Tim immediately switched to a different voice.

“It is I! Romulus! I founded the empire that carried my name! Even today, what I created still holds sway over the very fabric of the world! All because of what I learned from the hand of a wolf!”

Michelle made little fists as Tim went back and forth.

"YOU MAY ENTER, GREAT ONE. AND YOU! WHO ARE YOU?"

“I am Lord Greystoke! Prince of the jungle and the veldt, and my mind and body are one! All because of what I learned from the hand an ape!”

"ENTER, GREAT ONE, YOU ARE WELCOME HERE."

"Tim," Michelle said with an eerie calm. "Put down the action figures. Put them down, and put them down now."

It was as though Tim didn't even hear. "AND YOU, LAD? WHO ARE YOU?"

Jake handed his father a baby doll. But Tim was ready with a new voice. Tim was in the zone.

“Um, hi… my name’s… Jeremy.”

"SPEAK, JEREMY! WHYFOR CAME YOU HERE?"

“Um, because of my little smart-e-bear?”

"YOU LEARNED AT THE HAND OF A BEAR?"

“Well, I guess. I mean, I cuddled it a lot too. My mom set it up so it would say my name in one of three languages, and that was always cool. You know, when I was little.”

Michelle was tapping her foot. "Tim." she hissed. "What kind of example are you setting our son about how to behave in public?"

If anything, it made Tim louder. "AND THEN YOU LEFT THE BEAR FOR EDUCATION IN THE WORLD OF MAN?"

“Well, not really. See, the smart-e-bear taught me a bunch too. He kinda grew up with me. When I took him out of the box he already knew a lot of basic games and stories and stuff, but when I got tired of that it was easy to get more. Mom would plug in the Mac or the PC and just download stuff from the smart-e-bear store and I’d have new content to enjoy, like he was a fuzzy iPod. And sometimes, ha ha, sometimes my bear’s batteries would get tired, and he’d repeat himself, and that was really funny. I’d just throw in some fresh ones and he’d be fine.”

"AND THEN THE BEAR TAUGHT YOU TO DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES UTTERLY?"

Jake was entranced by his father's acting. A few children had also gathered to listen. Michelle crossed her arms. She could wait.

“What? No, dude. My smart-e-bear told me stories and sang songs and we did counting games and… well, there’s a virtual sample bear if you want to know more. It was just a cool little friend I could learn from and listen to if everyone else was busy or if I just wanted some “me” time. Bears are solitary creatures, you know.”

"HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT WILDLIFE?"

“I dunno. Maybe I learned that from my smart-e-bear. Or maybe I’m secretly a wizard.”

AAA! A WIZARD! DON’T HURT ME!

“I won’t… if you tell me what goes on in the Hall Of Heroes.”

MOSTLY WE JUST EAT RAW MEAT AND GROWL AT EACH OTHER.

“Hmm. I guess when I think about it, that does make sense.”

"Are we done now?" asked Michelle. "Can we just buy the bear and go home?"

A small child tapped Tim's elbow and offered him a toy. "Can you do it again, mister? But with Batman this time?"

Michelle grabbed her husband and pulled. Tim only managed a single bow.

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