WootBot


quality posts: 15 Private Messages WootBot

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From the day we are born, it's ingrained in us that sharing is the good and right thing to do. I have two cookies and you have none, so I'll give you one so we both have a treat to enjoy. But should sharing be mandatory?

I distinctly remember a policy we had in my kindergarten class that said if I had a toy and you wanted to play with that toy, I got to play with the toy for two minutes, and then I had to give it to you. In the end, it felt like no one really got to play with the toy.

When my son transitioned from the infant class to the toddler class at his daycare, we had a conference with his new teacher. She told us that she didn't believe in forcing a child to share. At first I thought this was very strange, but then she explained her view with a story about an Easter egg hunt from her childhood. She had been forced to give her sister half of her Easter eggs, even though she had been the one who had done all the work to find the Easter eggs while her sister didn't participate at all.

So in some respect, does mandatory sharing teach children that they don't have to work hard to get the things they want? The mommy blogger in this article thinks so. She feels like forced sharing gives the recipient a sense of entitlement that isn't practical in the real world.

What do you think? Should children be forced to share, simply encouraged or neither?

hulfy


quality posts: 3 Private Messages hulfy

Hmmm, not so much. Sharing, at it's most basic level, is actually a way of manipulating others to like you, and making you feel good about yourself. If you share with a stranger, you might change them into a friend, if you give to charity, that makes you feel good, and that serves the "self". So sharing is selfish, and there is nothing wrong with serving yourself (up to a point). As to forcing your kids to share, that works at meals or during play time, to help socialize them, but would you ask your straight 'A' high school age child to share his/her grades with the child at the bottom of the class??

ziekk


quality posts: 7 Private Messages ziekk

We don't force our twins to share either. Just because you ask for something doesn't mean the person that is using it should be required to give it to you.

One of them is far more dominant than the other, and if we forced little sister to give over a toy to big sister every time she wanted it, she'd never get to play with anything.

Moueska


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska
hulfy wrote:As to forcing your kids to share, that works at meals or during play time, to help socialize them, but would you ask your straight 'A' high school age child to share his/her grades with the child at the bottom of the class??



My brother was in a study group with two of the best and brightest in his class. I'm not saying that he's NOT a smart cookie - he was already pretty darned clever and good at working for what he needed. But he admitted that having an honors kid "share" his knowledge (not grades, KNOWLEDGE) very clearly enhanced his overall math skillz.

/ImJustSayin'