As a child who grew up with a Dad who paid child support it's a load of BS.

My Mom and a lot of people don't spend it on what it should be spent on. Bills, food, clothing, school supply, ect.

And that really irks the f' outta me still.

What a weird thing for woot to poll us on.

kutiel wrote:As a child who grew up with a Dad who paid child support it's a load of BS.

My Mom and a lot of people don't spend it on what it should be spent on. Bills, food, clothing, school supply, ect.

And that really irks the f' outta me still.

I paid every penny of mine, and I still have medical insurance on the kid.

As for Mothers that misspend their support, they are just as bad as the dads that don't pay.

kutiel wrote:As a child who grew up with a Dad who paid child support it's a load of BS.

My Mom and a lot of people don't spend it on what it should be spent on. Bills, food, clothing, school supply, ect.

And that really irks the f' outta me still.

How do you know what it is being spent on? If a child was fed, clothed, and had a roof over their head, I'd argue it was spent properly. I know there are people that 'abuse' such situations and "can't afford" to put clothes on their kids when they are getting decent amounts of money, but I also see many kids that only hear from one side (generally the payer) that child support is getting paid so if you can't have the nice things then it b=must be getting blown on other stuff and no being used properly.

I've lived and seen both sides of this. A friend had a kid with a girl, she cheated on him, they split up, she got child support for a child that, while she technically had custody of, lived with her dad full time. He still had to pay child support and it was a ridiculous amount of money from every pay check making it hard for him to get by. He eventually fought for custody (because the mom would steal clothes and money from the daughter when she could be bothered to have her overnight, did some drugs, and other things) and now doesn't have to pay it.

On the other side, I have a step son whose father has 4 kids from 4 different women. 1 he signed his rights away for, the others were lucky to get any money from him because for many years he had a job as a server, didn't claim his tips and didn't have a paycheck that could be taken. He probably should have and could have gone to jail, but that would have done nothing productive for a deadbeat dad. He enlisted into the Army and now the support comes out of his National Guard checks, but between the 3 kids that should be getting the support, we are lucky to get $40 a week. Still we have been accused of spending it on non-child related things. Tell me, do you think a teenager can go through $40 in food a week? How about a clothes budget, school and so on.

For those that pay and own up to their responsibilities, good on them. It sucks, but if it is being used properly it is the right way to go.

I certainly don't mean to sound accusatory here, but this is something I am passionate about and while I think it is a good idea (as are court ordered vasectomies/birth control of some sort), but like a welfare system has potential to be abused by both the courts/family services and sometimes by receivers.

OK too much serious in my light hearted impulse woot shopping...

bblhed wrote:
As for Mothers that misspend their support, they are just as bad as the dads that don't pay.

+1

I'm sorry for those of you that went and are going through that. My parents have been married for 40 years, and my wife's parents for ~35. The "D" word is just not a part of the culture in which we were raised. Both of us had very happy childhoods, which, by the way, is where we met

As a single mom with a small child who receives child support about eight months out of the year, I can tell you this: if a mom is "spending it on things that don't have anything to do with the child," either you are misinformed or she's making stupid amounts of money at her day job.

I'm supposed to get $400/month in child support. That covers half of my kid's day care and one week of food for him. That doesn't cover any of his medical insurance. That doesn't cover any of his out-of-pocket medical expenses, like co-pays, deductibles, or prescriptions. That doesn't cover his clothing. That doesn't cover the unpaid time I have to take off of work to care for him when he's sick.

Yes, the child support system could work better. Yes, some judges are harder on one gender than the other, and refuse to see both sides of a story. But the fact that the system IS there keeps many families out of poverty, and I am very thankful for it.

viidim7 wrote:As a single mom with a small child who receives child support about eight months out of the year, I can tell you this: if a mom is "spending it on things that don't have anything to do with the child," either you are misinformed or she's making stupid amounts of money at her day job.

I'm supposed to get $400/month in child support. That covers half of my kid's day care and one week of food for him. That doesn't cover any of his medical insurance. That doesn't cover any of his out-of-pocket medical expenses, like co-pays, deductibles, or prescriptions. That doesn't cover his clothing. That doesn't cover the unpaid time I have to take off of work to care for him when he's sick.

Yes, the child support system could work better. Yes, some judges are harder on one gender than the other, and refuse to see both sides of a story. But the fact that the system IS there keeps many families out of poverty, and I am very thankful for it.

I don't think they're referring to you using the money to keep afloat, I think they're referring to the mother that spent that $400 on a new iPad and relies on foodstamps to feed the child. Not that foodstamps makes a person bade, but I don't think they need them if they're blowing it on iPads and XBoxes.

SumDuud wrote:

OK too much serious in my light hearted impulse woot shopping...

Because my sister and I where not well fed, clothed, ect. Maybe since the power got shut off all the time? And the water?

I pay every penny. My biggest issue is, as the father paying, I should be able to claim child support paid as dependent care on my tax returns.

Child support is the result of people not utilizing birth control until they're mature enough to make the decision to be a parent. If you don't want to pay it, use contraceptives.

If you loved someone enough to make 3 kids with them, perhaps you should rethink the divorce.

Also, if the child *is* being cared for (food, clothing, shelter, insurance, etc.) where the custodial parent spends the rest of their money is nobody's business. Kids are expensive. They require much more money than the average child support.

Yes, there are people who abuse the child support system - on both sides. And?

thumperchick wrote:Child support is the result of people not utilizing birth control until they're mature enough to make the decision to be a parent. If you don't want to pay it, use contraceptives.

This is really unfair, Thumperchick. My parents were 31 and 32 when I was born. Their vicious divorce papers, which I found when I was seven, say that they were using contraception. My mother was mentally ill/abusive and my father was using drugs. Which one of them should have rethought the divorce: the one whose spouse was snorting his income up his nose and sleeping around or the one whose spouse was paranoid, controlling, and berating constantly?

Child support is the result of people doing the best they can to support children in less-than-ideal circumstances.