Whilst none of my kiddos are "perfect angels", nothing has been outlandishly shocking.

My son unfortunately said 'bastard' and of course it was in public. I spent 20 minutes googling parenting approved alternative curse words. I finally convinced him to use 'crumbum'.

The kids used food coloring to "paint" each others faces - RED and BLUE.
Come to think of it... sounds almost political... School thought it was funny.

There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who answered yes and those who are liars.

curtisuxor wrote:There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who answered yes and those who are liars.

A recent study showed there were two kinds of people. The first group believes there are two kinds of people. The second group disavows the two group theory.

Had an "accident #2" and put it in a bowl so it wasn't in her panties anymore. Interesting discovery to say the least.

Where is the "I used to be disgusted but now I'm just amused." option?

seen me in the shower and wanted
to know why his "thing" was bigger
then mine. He was 5 at the time...

While standing in line at the store, my then three year old son shouts, "Mama, that guy is TOO HUGE!"

That started our discussions on how it wasn't nice to say things about other people's bodies in public.

My kid isn't perfect, but he's only 19 months, so he hasn't had a chance to do anything that bad yet.

For those of you who are disappointed because I didn't share a funny story... Once I heard my nephew yell out "Holy Crap!!" when he was three.

Yes. One morning, my wife left for work & left the three kids with me. Just before leaving, my youngest daughter spilled orange juice on my pants & shirt. I ran to the bedroom & took off the wet clothing. Just as I had done so, my daughter opened the door & saw me wearing just my briefs. This was the first time she had seen me in anything other than boxers. She quickly shut the door & left. When we arrived at school, the teacher commented on the fact that we were late. My daughter's response was, "After Mommy left, Daddy had to go put on her panties." O.O

Just the usual screaming breakdown when we have to leave a place that is fun, even if it's not intended to be fun. Like the breakdown at the wake because other kids were there to play with.

My fur kids every once in a while bark at someone when we are out, but they are generally well behaved little angels... Way better than most bipedal kids, anyway.

my ex-wifes best friend was visiting without her children, told my ex she would come by later with the kids to which my 4yo daughter replied "my dad hates your kids' he says they are brats", well they were

Mine once asked a man if it was fair that he was both fat and bald. And he quickly added that his wife was the fattest person he ever saw. I was about 10 feet away and ran over quickly but it was too late. Also the funeral home was pretty quiet so EVERYBODY heard.

Oh my gosh some of these have me cracking up. Mine just likes to say really loudly "why does that boy look like a girl"...she has a really hard time with the concept of boys with long hair, or wearing jewelry of any kind for some reason. We've had many talks about this and STILL working on it. She has also said some pretty embarrasing stuff (which I will not share) while we have been in a public bathroom stall together.

This happened many years ago as I'm a Grammy now. My three year old son and I were standing in line at McDonald's. The line was long so we were waiting for awhile. Suddenly, my son pulls me out of the line. He pointed his finger and said loudly,"Look Mommy that man is black!" Of course, everyone heard him.
I wanted to sink into the floor, but instead told him that people come in many colors. I was trying to be PC but felt mortified.

curtisuxor wrote:There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who answered yes and those who are liars.

Agreed.

My kids don't have any standout stories yet. However...
My brother once got frustrated and yelled "dammit" in the house when we were grade-schoolers. Mom told him that swearing was bad and told the both of us we could make up nonsensical words instead. Fair enough. We were out at the grocery store one afternoon and my brother dropped a can on his foot. Innocently enough, he yelled, "Oh Sir Yaksalot! I hurt my toe!"

Yeah, Mom just left the cart right there and grabbed us and got the heck out of there.

Whoops, and by Sir Yaksalot, I mean a rubberized man part that starts with a D and kind of rhymes with "Bilbo"

BooferFTW wrote:My kids don't have any standout stories yet. However...
My brother once got frustrated and yelled "dammit" in the house when we were grade-schoolers. Mom told him that swearing was bad and told the both of us we could make up nonsensical words instead. Fair enough. We were out at the grocery store one afternoon and my brother dropped a can on his foot. Innocently enough, he yelled, "Oh Sir Yaksalot! I hurt my toe!"

Yeah, Mom just left the cart right there and grabbed us and got the heck out of there.

Whoops, and by Sir Yaks a lot, I mean an artificial rubberized man part that starts with a D and kind of rhymes with "Bilbo"

amynance wrote:When my brother and I were little, my mom took us to church for the first time. She explained it to us by saying, "We're going to Jesus's house." So when the pastor came out, I yelled as loud as I could in a quiet church, "IS THAT JESUS?" Everyone laughed.

And then my brother was kind enough to correct me by saying as loud as he could, "NO, STUPID! JESUS FLOATS!"

We never went to church again. True story.

That is both awful and awesome at the same time.

XD