WootBot


quality posts: 15 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

Poll: Has your kid ever done or said anything that completely mortified you?
  • 54.9% - Yes (I’ll tell you the story in the comments.) 263
  • 45.1% - No (My kid is a perfect angel.) 216
479 votes

Well, how do you fare compared to the Zeitgeist? Chat up your fellow wooters and let us know how lame this poll was or what obvious choices we missed. For example: Was this poll a) STUPID, b) DUMB, c) POINTLESS or d) ALL OF THE ABOVE?

gholt121


quality posts: 3 Private Messages gholt121

Whilst none of my kiddos are "perfect angels", nothing has been outlandishly shocking.



Proud Woot!er since 2005.

poohluvr0804


quality posts: 0 Private Messages poohluvr0804

My son unfortunately said 'bastard' and of course it was in public. I spent 20 minutes googling parenting approved alternative curse words. I finally convinced him to use 'crumbum'.

ardubu


quality posts: 8 Private Messages ardubu

The kids used food coloring to "paint" each others faces - RED and BLUE.
Come to think of it... sounds almost political... School thought it was funny.

Ah, the hell with it.

curtisuxor


quality posts: 56 Private Messages curtisuxor

There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who answered yes and those who are liars.

Dick Murdock


quality posts: 2 Private Messages Dick Murdock
curtisuxor wrote:There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who answered yes and those who are liars.



A recent study showed there were two kinds of people. The first group believes there are two kinds of people. The second group disavows the two group theory.

johnsmith1982


quality posts: 0 Private Messages johnsmith1982

Had an "accident #2" and put it in a bowl so it wasn't in her panties anymore. Interesting discovery to say the least.

bblhed


quality posts: 10 Private Messages bblhed

Where is the "I used to be disgusted but now I'm just amused." option?

mdkopper


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mdkopper

seen me in the shower and wanted
to know why his "thing" was bigger
then mine. He was 5 at the time...

cebii


quality posts: 3 Private Messages cebii

While standing in line at the store, my then three year old son shouts, "Mama, that guy is TOO HUGE!"

That started our discussions on how it wasn't nice to say things about other people's bodies in public.

steven009


quality posts: 2 Private Messages steven009

My kid isn't perfect, but he's only 19 months, so he hasn't had a chance to do anything that bad yet.

For those of you who are disappointed because I didn't share a funny story... Once I heard my nephew yell out "Holy Crap!!" when he was three.

taz3781


quality posts: 0 Private Messages taz3781

Yes. One morning, my wife left for work & left the three kids with me. Just before leaving, my youngest daughter spilled orange juice on my pants & shirt. I ran to the bedroom & took off the wet clothing. Just as I had done so, my daughter opened the door & saw me wearing just my briefs. This was the first time she had seen me in anything other than boxers. She quickly shut the door & left. When we arrived at school, the teacher commented on the fact that we were late. My daughter's response was, "After Mommy left, Daddy had to go put on her panties." O.O

ChronoSquall14


quality posts: 39 Private Messages ChronoSquall14

Just the usual screaming breakdown when we have to leave a place that is fun, even if it's not intended to be fun. Like the breakdown at the wake because other kids were there to play with.

janse


quality posts: 0 Private Messages janse

My fur kids every once in a while bark at someone when we are out, but they are generally well behaved little angels... Way better than most bipedal kids, anyway.

bozison


quality posts: 0 Private Messages bozison

my ex-wifes best friend was visiting without her children, told my ex she would come by later with the kids to which my 4yo daughter replied "my dad hates your kids' he says they are brats", well they were

Scott OR Stacey - Whomever is awake!

hosesplus


quality posts: 0 Private Messages hosesplus

Mine once asked a man if it was fair that he was both fat and bald. And he quickly added that his wife was the fattest person he ever saw. I was about 10 feet away and ran over quickly but it was too late. Also the funeral home was pretty quiet so EVERYBODY heard.

FIGHTING CRIME AND INDIFFERENCE SINCE 8:32 THIS MORNING

cdaligou


quality posts: 2 Private Messages cdaligou

Oh my gosh some of these have me cracking up. Mine just likes to say really loudly "why does that boy look like a girl"...she has a really hard time with the concept of boys with long hair, or wearing jewelry of any kind for some reason. We've had many talks about this and STILL working on it. She has also said some pretty embarrasing stuff (which I will not share) while we have been in a public bathroom stall together.

lynnemt


quality posts: 0 Private Messages lynnemt

This happened many years ago as I'm a Grammy now. My three year old son and I were standing in line at McDonald's. The line was long so we were waiting for awhile. Suddenly, my son pulls me out of the line. He pointed his finger and said loudly,"Look Mommy that man is black!" Of course, everyone heard him.
I wanted to sink into the floor, but instead told him that people come in many colors. I was trying to be PC but felt mortified.

losbradley


quality posts: 0 Private Messages losbradley
curtisuxor wrote:There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who answered yes and those who are liars.



Agreed.

PemberDucky


quality posts: 41 Private Messages PemberDucky

Staff

i have a story.
you don't have to read it.

my dad was in the middle of car negotiations with a very nice african-american salesman.

i was, i dunno ... 3 years old? toddling around this man's office. probably churning the potting soil in his plants. maybe groping office supplies with drooly fingers.

as dad tells it, he was just about to place a counteroffer when Little PemberDucky suddenly recognized the salesman. i'm told i pointed at the gentleman, squealed, and exclaimed, "MICHAEL JACKSON!"

i even turned to look at my dad, astonished. As if to say, "Can you believe it? He's right here in this ROOM!"

fin.


i sure hope this story doesn't offend anybody. some of my best friends are car salesmen.


-----------------------------------------------
Not sure if you should post that? This slightly-nsfw-flowchart will help.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

Daughter said ducks with an f when she was a toddler.

Since she was the 2nd oldest grandkid, some of the uncles would teach her interesting things. Things they would kill if I did it to their kids years later!

Uncle gave 2 year old daughter a boy doll for Christmas. He told her the dolls name was the proper term for a male private part.
She got it on Chirstmas eve.

The next day we went to my Godmothers for Christmas. Lots of grandparent age people.
They would say "What is the doll's name?"
P-nis.
Oh Peter? That is a nice name.

The child was clearly saying the word, but none of the old folks could imagine a little girl saying that, so they all heard Peter.

Doll stayed named Peter.

Maybe when that uncle has his first grandkid, I'll give it a male doll!

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

BooferFTW


quality posts: 4 Private Messages BooferFTW

My kids don't have any standout stories yet. However...
My brother once got frustrated and yelled "dammit" in the house when we were grade-schoolers. Mom told him that swearing was bad and told the both of us we could make up nonsensical words instead. Fair enough. We were out at the grocery store one afternoon and my brother dropped a can on his foot. Innocently enough, he yelled, "Oh Sir Yaksalot! I hurt my toe!"

Yeah, Mom just left the cart right there and grabbed us and got the heck out of there.

Whoops, and by Sir Yaksalot, I mean a rubberized man part that starts with a D and kind of rhymes with "Bilbo"

Proudly tracking via WootStalker.com

BooferFTW


quality posts: 4 Private Messages BooferFTW
BooferFTW wrote:My kids don't have any standout stories yet. However...
My brother once got frustrated and yelled "dammit" in the house when we were grade-schoolers. Mom told him that swearing was bad and told the both of us we could make up nonsensical words instead. Fair enough. We were out at the grocery store one afternoon and my brother dropped a can on his foot. Innocently enough, he yelled, "Oh Sir Yaksalot! I hurt my toe!"

Yeah, Mom just left the cart right there and grabbed us and got the heck out of there.




Whoops, and by Sir Yaks a lot, I mean an artificial rubberized man part that starts with a D and kind of rhymes with "Bilbo"

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amynance


quality posts: 6 Private Messages amynance

Staff

When my brother and I were little, my mom took us to church for the first time. She explained it to us by saying, "We're going to Jesus's house." So when the pastor came out, I yelled as loud as I could in a quiet church, "IS THAT JESUS?" Everyone laughed.

And then my brother was kind enough to correct me by saying as loud as he could, "NO, STUPID! JESUS FLOATS!"

We never went to church again. True story.

Moueska


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska
amynance wrote:When my brother and I were little, my mom took us to church for the first time. She explained it to us by saying, "We're going to Jesus's house." So when the pastor came out, I yelled as loud as I could in a quiet church, "IS THAT JESUS?" Everyone laughed.

And then my brother was kind enough to correct me by saying as loud as he could, "NO, STUPID! JESUS FLOATS!"

We never went to church again. True story.



That is both awful and awesome at the same time.

XD