Yeah, I think sometimes people are just that ignorant about developmental milestones and prone to overinterpreting the significance of their child's behavior that they really believe what they're bragging about to have some truthiness to it. But I don't care for it no matter what motivates it. Like when you can't mention anything your kid does or did without getting a one-up response? Not a conversation. To be fair, though, I've met plenty of folks without kids who do the same thing, so it probably has little to do with children. It's just more irritating when they're brought into it.

The competitive wears off as your children become older and eventually teenagers. Parents find they have less to brag about and are often times looking for someone to confide in. It seems the earlier they start 'doing' things, the sooner they instigate and the sooner they disappoint. My parenting philosophy... always have a mind on the future and where you kid will be one day and do those things that will help get them there. My 3 year old is in love with space, is it unrealistic to set goals that may one day help her to become an astronaut? I realize those goals will change but thats where you need flexibility in changing goals and creating new ones. She can become a pilot, a doctor... or a waitress or customer service rep... whatever, she will be prepared and supported.

Now, for real competitive parenting, I bet my parent can beat your parent in a full on WCW fight (on Wii).

My mother was like this and it never let up. If I wasn't first, then it wasn't good enough. I had a very high GPA, varsity sports, and even had fox do a newscast on me. I asked her once why she was never satisfied. Her reply was she always had to have things to brag about. I felt that my worth was based on honors/awards only. I'm thirty and still seeing a therapist. I don't agree with or condone this type of behavior. You want a screwed up kid, be a competitive parent.

kats2882 wrote:My mother was like this and it never let up. If I wasn't first, then it wasn't good enough. I had a very high GPA, varsity sports, and even had fox do a newscast on me. I asked her once why she was never satisfied. Her reply was she always had to have things to brag about. I felt that my worth was based on honors/awards only. I'm thirty and still seeing a therapist. I don't agree with or condone this type of behavior. You want a screwed up kid, be a competitive parent.

This is why I'm not a fan of that whole "Tiger Parent" craze. Kids don't need that kind of pressure, they need love. That's all I ever wanted from my parents, was for them to be proud of me, encourage me in the things that I cared about. Not to ask "How come you got a B+?" instead of an A.

It can be a hard path to follow though, because it's so touchy where support/encouragement/expressing pride to your children becomes them feeling your expectations and never meeting them. I think the best thing that I heard was to express pride in their effort rather than how you feel or the result (for example "You worked so HARD practicing for that game!" instead of "You won!" See how it shifts the focus to their determination rather than the outcome?)

Any competitive desire should come from within, and should be for yourself. Many of these so-called parents are trying to live their childhoods over again through their children. Yes. They want the best for them, but do you really think all the external stress is what is good for them? You can help guide them by giving them support in what they want to excel at, but pushing your desires on them is not good.