Warning parents! Our kids are veering off the straight and narrow earlier than ever before. Babies all over the U.S. are testing positive for marijuana. Now we have to teach them to "just say no" before they even know what "no" means? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO???
I kid, I kid. It's true that some babies are failing drug tests, but of course it's not what you think. Turns out that some major brands of baby soaps and shampoos are the culprits: Johnson & Johnson’s Bedtime Bath, CVS Night-Time Baby Bath, Aveeno Baby Soothing Relief Creamy Wash and Aveeno Baby Wash & Shampoo. Thankfully, it's not like the "bath salts" drug that's gotten a lot of attention in the media lately for making people eat other people's faces (Zombie babies, WHAT?) In fact, they aren't intoxicating, and they don't cause symptoms of marijuana use whatsoever.
So there's no need to banish these products from your shelves. Researchers don't believe that the false positives are a result of ingestion. It's much more likely that small amounts of the soaps were washing off of babies' skin and contaminating the urine samples.
But why are babies being drug tested in the first place? Good question. The answer to that is probably the most alarming thing about this article. Newborns with mothers who are deemed "high risk" for drug use are often tested. Positive results can spark an investigation by child welfare authorities which could end in the baby being removed from the family. How terrible and tragic if it was all the result of a botched drug test. Thanks to the researchers at the University of North Carolina shedding light on the issue, hopefully that will never happen again.
And now on a semi-related note, remember those hilariously cheesy anti-drug commercials from the 80s? Here are two of my favorites.
Photo by Flickr member globochem3x1minus1, used under a Creative Commons License.