Jason Toon


quality posts: 19 Private Messages Jason Toon

As the subject of parental kvetching and commiserating, sleep shows no signs of tiring. All you have to do is look at the best-seller list to see that this particular frustration remains very universal. At our house, even though our younger girls are now 7 and 4, rare is the night without at least one invasion of Mommy and Daddy's bed. And my kids treat sleeping like a participation sport. They can burn more calories in one night sleeping than I can playing a game of racquetball. Here are three sleep-related links I've found useful lately - if for no other reason than to remind myself that my misery has lots of company.

"Confession: This Pediatrician Is A Sleep Softie": this Huffington Post piece proves that the Sleep Wars are no respecter of persons. Claire McCarthy, MD explains how she and her husband "broke all sorts of 'sleep rules' on a regular basis." When the sheets hit the road, even a doctor has to give in sometimes.


Baby Sleep Positions
: This hilarious series from How To Be A Dad breaks down the various baby/parent sleep configurations into a kind of Kama Sutra of parental grogginess. Our 4-year-old favors the H, which is every bit as miserable as it looks in the picture.

We Don't Know How Much Sleep Kids Need - Or Maybe We Know Exactly How Much They Need: Remember the "sleep rules" I mentioned earlier? National Public Radio wasn't expecting much controversy a couple of days ago when they reported on a study that indicated that sleep recommendations are more social than biological. But the story made sleep specialists crankier than a 6-month-old who hasn't had a nap. So yesterday NPR followed up with an interview with pediatrician and author Judith Owens, who called the study's conclusions "not only absurd, but irresponsible."

If you've seen anything on the Internet - other than powerful sedatives - that's helped you cope with your kids' sleep issues, share it in the comments below. I need all the help I can get.

 

oreotookie


quality posts: 11 Private Messages oreotookie

We found the Ferber Method quite helpful. No, it is not "let your baby cry it out method". That being said, I was cursing Dr. Ferber quite a bit for a while (just a recently as last night). No amount of nursing, soothing, or even using teething pills (he's teething obviously) would work, but after just letting him cry and popping the pacifier in his mouth every 10 minutes, he fell asleep in about 30 minutes (read "gave up before we did").

I'm sure you have heard of the Ferber Method, but it truly works. It was recommended by the parenting class at the hospital, by my pediatrician, and even my GP (mother of twins!). It takes some stamina and only START it when you have the stamina (best even if you have back up) and agree to stick to it a couple of days straight. It took 3 days to get my oldest one "fixed" when she was 2 and we haven't completely done it on my 6 month old since he is teething, but when I ABSOLUTELY know there is nothing else wrong, we pull that one out and it works. It is t easy though, but worth it in the long run.

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 585 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

oreotookie wrote:We found the Ferber Method quite helpful. No, it is not "let your baby cry it out method". That being said, I was cursing Dr. Ferber quite a bit for a while (just a recently as last night). No amount of nursing, soothing, or even using teething pills (he's teething obviously) would work, but after just letting him cry and popping the pacifier in his mouth every 10 minutes, he fell asleep in about 30 minutes (read "gave up before we did").

I'm sure you have heard of the Ferber Method, but it truly works. It was recommended by the parenting class at the hospital, by my pediatrician, and even my GP (mother of twins!). It takes some stamina and only START it when you have the stamina (best even if you have back up) and agree to stick to it a couple of days straight. It took 3 days to get my oldest one "fixed" when she was 2 and we haven't completely done it on my 6 month old since he is teething, but when I ABSOLUTELY know there is nothing else wrong, we pull that one out and it works. It is t easy though, but worth it in the long run.


Yup, that's what we did too. We would also pop out the pacifier as soon as he was asleep so he wasn't dependent on it to sleep. Made those times with stuffy noses easier too.



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jchamber93


quality posts: 0 Private Messages jchamber93

I don't know if there is a name for what we did with our two children, but basically we decided early on that we were in charge and they weren't. We would let our daughter snuggle for a few minutes in a nasty thunderstorm, but it was always with the plan of putting her back to her bed at some point.

We're 8 1/2 years into parenting and have never had to share our bed for a whole night. And just in case you think we have had it particularly easy with our children, I can tell you some stories about how strong-willed our 8 1/2 year-old daughter is.

I think it all comes down to deciding who is in charge. Ultimately, even though it hurts to hear them cry, I would maintain that you end up raising stronger and more independent children.

I'm now prepared to be shouted down by those who are perhaps more enlightened in modern child psychology.

runnerfrog13


quality posts: 10 Private Messages runnerfrog13

Hmm, well ours is only 18 months so far. We didn't have to do be the bad guy or any of that above (until she was a toddler and just wanted to play instead of sleep), though we did have trouble with naps at her daycare because the daycare provider would make her cry it out instead. So then she hated to even go near her bed during the day because to her it meant "time to leave you alone and let you scream for forever" but she'll go to bed at night after our routine without much trouble. Never did bedshare because of post-partum complications, though it sure would have made nighttime easier. Started with the theory of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" which talks about the biology of the child's sleep, how to pay attention to their cues and determine when they're ready for bed. The section about naps was AMAZING and almost overnight screaming naps and hours of bedtime soothing went away as we were able to adjust when we put her down for naps to match her cues and sleep cycles. (Sadly for our kid that meant 6pm bedtimes, which the in-laws didn't much like, but was totally worth it.) Who knows, maybe we just had a good baby, but I was impressed with his "troubleshooting" section and how it addressed different kinds of sleep issues you might have with your kid and how to go about solving them (such as colic).

Didn't much care for the methods the author suggests, so we use a no-cry routine that we made up, and honestly once we figured out her sleep rhythm, it didn't take much to avoid crying spells (with the exception of daycare naps as she got older, but I still blame that on the daycare since we can usually get her to nap without much trouble).

We'll see how it all gets thrown on it's head when the second child comes though!

runnerfrog13


quality posts: 10 Private Messages runnerfrog13
jchamber93 wrote:
I think it all comes down to deciding who is in charge. Ultimately, even though it hurts to hear them cry, I would maintain that you end up raising stronger and more independent children.


I think alot of it comes down to parenting philosophy, since I feel that allowing a safe and peaceful "home base" to strike out from is a necessary foundation for a strong and independent child, rather than showing them who is in charge so they are forced to become independent on our timetable instead of theirs.

But my outlook could be affected by growing up fighting not-quite-clinical anxiety, and how it persisted even until becoming an adult with the traditional "independent child" philosophy, whereas the most successful method of overcoming it has involved more of the latter "home base and practice" style.