norcalbecca wrote:Ha!

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up they'd be alloys.

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Gold walks into a bar, the bartender yells, "AU get out!"

KtCallista wrote:Gold walks into a bar, the bartender yells, "AU get out!"

Anyone want to hear a sodium joke? Na.

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norcalbecca wrote:Anyone want to hear a sodium joke? Na.

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Can't think of another atomic joke right now and too lazy to resort to google, although there was that rumor that Oxygen and Magnesium are an item, I mean O-Mg!

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KtCallista wrote:Can't think of another atomic joke right now and too lazy to resort to google, although there was that rumor that Oxygen and Magnesium are an item, I mean O-Mg!

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Should we resort to just miserable meeces bar jokes then?

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies, "Really? You have a drink named Clarence?"

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Ooookay... lol... um... see where it says "miserable meeces" in the above post? Yeah... I typed "L A M E" (only lowercase and not spaced out) and it was changed by some mysterious Woot force...

I'm laughing way too hard at that right now... (especially since it did it again when I previewed it).

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norcalbecca wrote:Ooookay... lol... um... see where it says "miserable meeces" in the above post? Yeah... I typed "L A M E" (only lowercase and not spaced out) and it was changed by some mysterious Woot force...

I'm laughing way too hard at that right now... (especially since it did it again when I previewed it).

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Yay for Gatzby's filters!

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second man would have seen it!

LP

KtCallista wrote:Yay for Gatzby's filters!

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second man would have seen it!

LP

Aww... that was going to be my next one...

Two men walked into a bar... you'd think the second one would have ducked.

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norcalbecca wrote:Aww... that was going to be my next one...

Two men walked into a bar... you'd think the second one would have ducked.

LP

A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says, "I'll have a beer, and give me one for the road."

LP

GodfatherND wrote:A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says, "I'll have a beer, and give me one for the road."

LP

Two jumper cables walk into a bar... the bartender looks up and says, "you two better not start anything in here!"

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norcalbecca wrote:Two jumper cables walk into a bar... the bartender looks up and says, "you two better not start anything in here!"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra....

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An honest politician, a kind lawyer, and Santa Claus are getting off an elevator when they spot a $10 bill laying on the ground. Who gets it? Santa Claus, of course--the other two aren't real!

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norcalbecca wrote:An honest politician, a kind lawyer, and Santa Claus are getting off an elevator when they spot a $10 bill laying on the ground. Who gets it? Santa Claus, of course--the other two aren't real!

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Can't think of a good joke right now.

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KtCallista wrote:Can't think of a good joke right now.

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What did Beethoven do when he died?

He decomposed.

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tennisplayer121 wrote:What did Beethoven do when he died?

He decomposed.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant with a rhinoceros?
A Hellifiknow

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KtCallista wrote:What do you get when you cross and elephant with a rhinoceros?
A Hellifiknow

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The astronomer quit his job to become a barber. Eclipse hair now.

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GodfatherND wrote:The astronomer quit his job to become a barber. Eclipse hair now.

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Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other: "That's funny... I smell carrots too."

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norcalbecca wrote:Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other: "That's funny... I smell carrots too."

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(not a joke, just a life update) My boss, my coworkers, pretty much everyone in the office has contacted me personally this week to make sure that I got the application for my promotion in which closes tonight. Since they are the hiring committee and have only known me a couple months, it's making me feel pretty awesome. Oh yeah, I'm using them all as references HR requires the job to be open to the public for two weeks in case there is someone better out there, even though it's a promotion (change of hours, benefits, and pay rate).

LP

KtCallista wrote:(not a joke, just a life update) My boss, my coworkers, pretty much everyone in the office has contacted me personally this week to make sure that I got the application for my promotion in which closes tonight. Since they are the hiring committee and have only known me a couple months, it's making me feel pretty awesome. Oh yeah, I'm using them all as references HR requires the job to be open to the public for two weeks in case there is someone better out there, even though it's a promotion (change of hours, benefits, and pay rate).

LP

Isn't it wonderful to have that kind of support? Best of luck to you!

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KtCallista wrote:(not a joke, just a life update) My boss, my coworkers, pretty much everyone in the office has contacted me personally this week to make sure that I got the application for my promotion in which closes tonight. Since they are the hiring committee and have only known me a couple months, it's making me feel pretty awesome. Oh yeah, I'm using them all as references HR requires the job to be open to the public for two weeks in case there is someone better out there, even though it's a promotion (change of hours, benefits, and pay rate).

LP

Good luck!

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norcalbecca wrote:Isn't wonderful to have that kind of support? Best of luck to you!

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Thanks both! It's really different for me. I've had so many jobs where it was mostly me and it wasn't such a team dynamic. I enjoyed them and some of them were really great, but this is sooo different.

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KtCallista wrote:(not a joke, just a life update) My boss, my coworkers, pretty much everyone in the office has contacted me personally this week to make sure that I got the application for my promotion in which closes tonight. Since they are the hiring committee and have only known me a couple months, it's making me feel pretty awesome. Oh yeah, I'm using them all as references HR requires the job to be open to the public for two weeks in case there is someone better out there, even though it's a promotion (change of hours, benefits, and pay rate).

LP

Hope it goes super well!

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tennisplayer121 wrote:Hope it goes super well!

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I'm fairly confident! Thank you Tennis.

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KtCallista wrote:I'm fairly confident! Thank you Tennis.

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np...when will you know?

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tennisplayer121 wrote:np...when will you know?

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The job officially closes in 2 hours. I'm not actually working this week. I had an excess of hours after the tournaments in January and February so I'm taking "spring break" off. So they could either call me tomorrow, or wait till I get to the office on Monday. There may be some other issues with HR too. They have to "forward" my application to my department for review. I'm not sure how long that takes. When I was initially hired for my current job it took 2 weeks for my paperwork to get approved so I had to submit my first two weeks of hours via paper through HR, it just depends on how busy HR is. Orc figures (he has experience with them more than I do) that it will probably be the first of April when I get all the paperwork, but they may start me at the new hours and wage before hand.

LP

KtCallista wrote:The job officially closes in 2 hours. I'm not actually working this week. I had an excess of hours after the tournaments in January and February so I'm taking "spring break" off. So they could either call me tomorrow, or wait till I get to the office on Monday. There may be some other issues with HR too. They have to "forward" my application to my department for review. I'm not sure how long that takes. When I was initially hired for my current job it took 2 weeks for my paperwork to get approved so I had to submit my first two weeks of hours via paper through HR, it just depends on how busy HR is. Orc figures (he has experience with them more than I do) that it will probably be the first of April when I get all the paperwork, but they may start me at the new hours and wage before hand.

LP

Ah, gotta love HR... I'm actually in government HR... I handle pretty much all personnel/payroll/benefit related matters for about 250 employees. The thing is, as the processor, I'm the last link in a long chain of approvals, so I can understand and sympathize with the waiting game for hires and promotions... fingers crossed for a quick turnaround on your approval paperwork!

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norcalbecca wrote:Ah, gotta love HR... I'm actually in government HR... I handle pretty much all personnel/payroll/benefit related matters for about 250 employees. The thing is, as the processor, I'm the last link in a long chain of approvals, so I can understand and sympathize with the waiting game for hires and promotions... fingers crossed for a quick turnaround on your approval paperwork!

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I'm at a state University with the state branch of a federal program, 4-H, running a non-profit competition, FIRST. Oh yeah it's awesome, my office is full of LEGO and my boss walks in and says stuff like, "Hey, there's this open source micro-circuits stuff called Arduino and I'm thinking we can make some 4-H curriculum for it, want me to buy you some to play with?"

Happy Pi Day and Palindrome day, and Einstein's Birthday!

LP

KtCallista wrote:I'm at a state University with the state branch of a federal program, 4-H, running a non-profit competition, FIRST. Oh yeah it's awesome, my office is full of LEGO and my boss walks in and says stuff like, "Hey, there's this open source micro-circuits stuff called Arduino and I'm thinking we can make some 4-H curriculum for it, want me to buy you some to play with?"

Happy Pi Day and Palindrome day, and Einstein's Birthday!

LP

There is no playing in my office. If they catch you playing while on the clock, the first punishment is a smack on the hands with a ruler, the second is to stand in the corner with your nose to the wall and the third onward involves being put in the pit and occasionally sprayed with a hose.

...but you didn't hear that from me.

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norcalbecca wrote:There is no playing in my office. If they catch you playing while on the clock, the first punishment is a smack on the hands with a ruler, the second is to stand in the corner with your nose to the wall and the third onward involves being put in the pit and occasionally sprayed with a hose.

...but you didn't hear that from me.

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A pit AND a hose? Oh, you had it easy.

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GodfatherND wrote:A pit AND a hose? Oh, you had it easy.

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Well, there was the lotion too, but my lawyer advises that I not bring that up.

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norcalbecca wrote:Well, there was the lotion too, but my lawyer advises that I not bring that up.

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It's not playing around, that's what they are paying me to do! It's work!

I used to get paid to jump in streams and catch frogs too I have had some awesome jobs. I've had some not awesome ones as well, but they aren't worth talking about.

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LP!!!

KtCallista wrote:It's not playing around, that's what they are paying me to do! It's work!

I used to get paid to jump in streams and catch frogs too I have had some awesome jobs. I've had some not awesome ones as well, but they aren't worth talking about.

LP

Color me jealous then. I'm a paper pusher for a paycheck... but I'm not complaining (too much)... it's better than having no job at all!

And now... a moment of workplace zen:

"To err is human. To forgive is against company policy."

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lp

tennisplayer121 wrote:lp

LP

GodfatherND wrote:LP

lp

Not trying to spread job dis-satisfaction.

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KtCallista wrote:Not trying to spread job dis-satisfaction.

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I know... honestly, I was trying to have a bit of fun. Apologies if I was a downer.

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norcalbecca wrote:I know... honestly, I was trying to have a bit of fun. Apologies if I was a downer.

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I was worried I was getting you down with the awesomeness of my new job I didn't want to make you feel all, "man, my life choices suck." While I'm over here, "Whoohoo! I found the coolest job in the world, I'm so awesome!"

Because I am that awesome.

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KtCallista wrote:I was worried I was getting you down with the awesomeness of my new job I didn't want to make you feel all, "man, my life choices suck." While I'm over here, "Whoohoo! I found the coolest job in the world, I'm so awesome!"

Because I am that awesome.

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Nah, it's all good. Congrats on the awesome job!

As the great Barney Stinson once said, "When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead."

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