PemberDucky wrote:Resident vegan sneers at co-worker's ramen. Co-worker responds:
You live on toothpicks and tofu. Come talk to me about food when you eat something other than toothpicks and f***ing tofu.

Ya gotta admit he has a good point!

"Don't tell me you just picked that up and ate it?"

"It's stuck on the roof again?"

Student turned in her short answer section of an exam today- worth 36 points. Not a word on it but her name: "I don't do well with open-ended questions. Sorry".

Welcome to College. Prolly not going to be for long, though...

SkekTek wrote:Student turned in her short answer section of an exam today- worth 36 points. Not a word on it but her name: "I don't do well with open-ended questions. Sorry".

Welcome to College. Prolly not going to be for long, though...

wow

jqubed wrote:wow

No kidding. Turns out she's attended one class out of 6. No wonder...

Today, our network went down for about 5 minutes. I'm in a lab where it's not a problem, but there's a class next door. I see the network unavailable pop up on the computer that's on in the room. From next door I hear: "SHlT!!!" And the class laugh. Someone was running PowerPoint off his network drive... LOL

Three kids come out of a classroom today, one singing the Peanut Butter Jelly Time song and all three acting like the banana. Weird.

Not exactly in the office, but . . .

. . . went to use the restroom and as soon as I walked in I heard stall #1 occupant hurriedly whisper, "I'll call you right back!"
Then followed a flurry of toilet paper rolling sounds and newspaper page turning.

I wondered if I had interrupted a session of "office restroom phone sex!!!"

I just overheard this conversation:

First guy: Why doesn't your keyboard have a Caps Lock light?

Second guy: It does...it's called the shift key.

First guy: What?? Oh...No no, not like a "diet" Caps Lock. I mean like a light that comes on to tell you when the Caps Lock is on.

Second guy: Oh.

Water Dept. came hours ago and started digging up the street.

about ten minutes ago...

Supervisor drives up, gets out, says "What are you doing"

Worker 1: "digging"

Supervisor: You're on the right street, wrong hundred block. It's four blocks down.

Worker 1: "What do we do now?"

Workers 2,3,4: start laughing

Supervisor: "You go down to the other block and do your job"

Worker 1: "What about the hole here"

Supervisor: "Don't worry about it. We're not suppose to be working here anyway"

lplady wrote:Water Dept. came hours ago and started digging up the street.

about ten minutes ago...

Supervisor drives up, gets out, says "What are you doing"

Worker 1: "digging"

Supervisor: You're on the right street, wrong hundred block. It's four blocks down.

Worker 1: "What do we do now?"

Workers 2,3,4: start laughing

Supervisor: "You go down to the other block and do your job"

Worker 1: "What about the hole here"

Supervisor: "Don't worry about it. We're not suppose to be working here anyway"

glad I'm not on your street!

jqubed wrote:glad I'm not on your street!

From one of the chem labs.

CRASH!

Student 1: Whoa... it's eating into the tile.

Student 2: Uhm... Help?

jqubed wrote:glad I'm not on your street!

Thankfully not my street. I was over a friends about 5 minutes away when this occurred. After it was said a bunch of yelling (truck driver yelling) was going on, so I came home.

SkekTek wrote:From one of the chem labs.

CRASH!

Student 1: Whoa... it's eating into the tile.

Student 2: Uhm... Help?

that's awesome! how do you stop it?!

lplady wrote:Thankfully not my street. I was over a friends about 5 minutes away when this occurred. After it was said a bunch of yelling (truck driver yelling) was going on, so I came home.

heh

PemberDucky wrote:"If I come across ten thousand dollars, I'm bringing in a whole lotta boxes of Capri Sun for everybody."


Definitely got the "S" down for that SMART goal, I say.

but it doesn't even come in boxes!

jqubed wrote:but it doesn't even come in boxes!

well, actually the pouches come together in a box.

BTW, Just wondering P'ducky what you do for a living that you have such... interesting... co-workers.

PemberDucky wrote:I'm a freelance dolphin wrangler.

Well, that explains it!

Office idi0t:
"Hey, this is Mike and I'm on vacation this week. I woke up sick this morning and I want to count this as a sick day."

HR rep:
*sigh*

PemberDucky wrote:I'm a freelance dolphin wrangler.

Yeah, I've seen "Cops" episodes shot in Vegas. That's street code. You naughty ummm..."girl".

mwiseman wrote:Office idi0t:
"Hey, this is Mike and I'm on vacation this week. I woke up sick this morning and I want to count this as a sick day."

HR rep:
*sigh*

nice. maybe this is why sick time and vacation time are now one and the same for us...

PemberDucky wrote:Out of the blue, co-worker pulls out a bag of balloons and some kind of pump. He decides to demonstrate his balloon-sculpting skills and is making flowers and animals and stuff.

"Hey PemberDucky, would you like a balloon?"

"Nope! Don't want anything."

"You sure? I could make you a pair of handcuffs."

//chortle//

*pick up phone after hearing it ring*

"uh yeah, I hate my life. . . ."

Me: "-Lab designation- this is -Me-"

Lady on phone: "oh, uh hello, did you hear me? I said I hate my life."

Me: "uh, okay, can I help you?"

Lady on phone: "Yeah I need to talk to whomever orders your printer supplies."

---The only person who ever calls our lab is my boss's boss, looking for my boss, everyone else here carries cell phones. I'm glad she didn't think I was the suicide support line, but boy, I don't think I want to work for that solicitation firm either!---

"No, I'm serious, I'm really old now. I turned 22 a couple weeks ago."

"There must be something wrong with his digestive tract, because when I walk into the bathroom stall after he's done there's something left behind and I always wonder how it gets there... at that angle."

[in a restaurant, loudly] Intercourse! [grand pause, then quieter but still loud enough to be heard from a few tables away] That's a word you shouldn't yell out.