One time, years ago, I went to buy some CDs at a place called Slackers back when people still bought things that physically existed and didn't just type "JUSTIN BIEBER FULL ALBUM.EXE" into whichever torrent site they had open. I handed the guy my credit card because I was 18 and dumb enough to do things like buy a CD on credit and the guy looked at it for a second before saying my name aloud and adding, "That sounds like royalty, dude." And you know what? He's right. My name is AWESOME. And if you want your kid to have any chance at being as successful as a childless internet copywriter dispensing parenting advice on a deal a day website, you'll heed my words:
Give your kid a wacky name.
Dr. Picklepants Hootsniffer, at your service.