More Like April Is the Coolest Month
This isn't the only magical thing beans can do, kiddo, believe you me.
But never mind all that, because it's Spring! And in your area, your child is going to want things to do and enjoy that don't involve sitting at a desk doing homework. And anyway, they'll be doing enough sitting during the summer, when all they want is AC and video games.
So take advantage of the season and get your child a few cool things they can wear or use or throw across the lawn and they'll be able to get that activity they so desperately need. And you'll be able to get the rest you so desperately need. Remember: if you're sitting near the window where you can hear them, legally, you're still an excellent parent.