Screaming Woot Monkey

by wootbot

Time To Pick Up A Few Childish Things

Oh, thank you! It's a great honor to be your best memory of 2012. Even got a new cape for the occasion! I'd like to thank- wait, wait, don't fade out, don't fade out! I wanted to read this list of people I knew in grammar school! Stop the music! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY MOMENT TO SHINE!

When you think children, do you think toys? Or clothing? Or maybe you think "How can I best get out of here before these little monsters ruin my eight thousand dollar suit" instead?

Well, whatever you're thinking, stop it. STOP IT. You've got to FOCUS or else you might miss an amazing deal! Because what you're looking at here is a free-flowing river of discounts breaking through the dam of retail and flowing in a torrent of cheapitude right at your face and wallet.

Face it, at these prices, you can't afford NOT to have a kid. Except for that whole part where they'll expect you to buy them a car and pay for their college. Just kinda overlook that for now, okay? We're trying to make a point here.