Rock and Bounce Pony

by wootbot

Wasted Talent

Don't ever let life's safety harnesses prevent you from realizing your dream.

I blame my mother. She was always holding me back. Like the time I wanted to take up sword swallowing. She was all, "Stop swallowing those pennies!" Why pennies? Because you don't just START with swords! You have to work up to it! But thanks to her naysaying, and also those X-rays, I never got the chance.

I was just as shocked as anyone when she agreed to get me a pony. I thought, "Finally! This is it! This will be my big break into the circus biz!" And then she brings home this thing.

Any other kid would have been ecstatic rocking and bouncing on its soft plush body and safety saddle. But to me, it was nothing more than disappointment in horse with life-like mouth movement form. Every realistic galloping and whinnying sound cut right to my core with its mocking.

"Will you be able to practice your stunt riding on me? Neigh!" it would say. "NEIGH!!!"

Yeah. Mom knew exactly what she was doing when she brought home that pony with the safety harness. If you ask me, they were in on it together. I could have been so much more than I am today. Can you name the nation's top neurosurgeon? I didn't think so. THANKS A LOT, MOM!