Raincoats - Your Choice

by wootbot

Does Whatever A Raincoat Can

A nice raincoat will help keep your child laughing, even in the middle of life's little showers. Like when someone writes "Spiderman" instead of "Spider-Man". HYPHEN'S NOT OPTIONAL, PEOPLE.

Do any of you remember what it was to be a child in the early 1970s? Some of you do, perhaps, and some of you don't. And yes, it was a magical time, full of deadly playground equipment and cars without seat belts and well-meaning grandparents who survived World War II and only wanted to spoil their dearest grandbabies beyond belief. But it was also a time when Spider-Man was still pretty much a brand-new superhero, and not every grown up knew who he was.

So imagine then: a young boy asks for a Spider-Man mask for Halloween. And what does he get? Something entirely different. Not with malice, not with hate, but through a simple improperly labeled mask, made famous by a rock star who didn't think about the children he would be hurting. And lo, Halloween was ruined.

Why tell this story, you may ask? To prove a point. And what's the point, you may ask? A good question. And why can't we just get on with the answer and stop wasting your time, you may ask? Well, aren't YOU the rude one! But fine, here it is, here's the point:

If you buy one of these raincoats for your child, they will actually be the CORRECT version of the characters we're promising you.

Sure, that seems only logical for all you youngsters who came of age in the modern era, but us old-timers know the pain of finding out your mother actually brought home "Supurb-Man" sneakers or a bright blue "Hukl" t-shirt. And we'd never inflict that sort of shame on a poor child who only wanted to show off a princess or Spider-Man as they try to make the best of an early spring shower.

Rest easy, children of today. We kids of the '70s suffered so you don't have to.