Munchkin Mighty Grip Variety Pack

by wootbot

Roll Initiative

The Munchkin Mighty Grip Variety Packs are great for those children who can't stop annoying you. And we don't just mean the little ones. We mean ALL types of children.

Munchkin? No, no, no. I prefer to think of myself as optimizing my drinking experience to ensure a beneficial state. Hey, and don't take that bottle over there, I need that bottle. Once I have that bottle, I only need three others to have a full pack.

Okay, let's go over the stats here. My Munchkin Mighty Grip bottle has a- oo! A spill-proof lid! That should make me immune to all water based attacks? No? MAN you're a hard GM! Okay, well, at least I should be able to take a drink as a free action thanks to the built-in valve. Look at that, it's right there, simple to open, right? Less time than dropping armor, and it says right here that dropping things is a free action. So, clearly, I've got to be able to- wow, you're not gonna let me do ANYTHING tonight, are you?

Okay, okay, FINE. I don't need your help anyway, because I'm so optimized, I can't be stopped. Like, my Munchkin Mighty Grip fits on the top rack of the dishwasher and as such, it's easy to clean. It's clear to me that means I've got natural immunity to germs and disease, especially when you consider the BPA-free plastic. I'd even argue that should apply to gas traps and poison arrows, but maybe ... well, like I said, that part we can debate. What I DO know, though, is that the contoured design means the Munchkin Mighty Grip is super-easy to hold, and that SHOULD give me a strength bonus from all the power I've been saving. Right? Maybe add two or three points to give me a natural 18?

Well, at least give me credit for the gold I saved on the price. You will? Aw yeah, I knew I'd get you to cave on something. And now, with that gold, I'm going to buy some enchanted armor, +14, made from dragon scale- hey, don't get mad, the Munchkin Mighty Grip Variety Packs are just that good of a deal!