Life is puzzling. But when entire planets start getting ignored, it's just plain rude.
"Choo! Choo! Here comes the baby express! Spare me," thought Ella. "Everyone knows that alphabet puzzles are so 12-18 months ago." So she pushed it aside and moved on to the one of the US maps.
She gave bonus points for the pieces being cut to the shapes of the states, but it was all just a bit too pedestrian for her. Who needs to know where all the states are located when you've got things like GPS and mommies and daddies to navigate?
No, no. She wanted a challenge. Something rare. Uncharted. Immense. A puzzle of the entire universe would be perfect, but she supposed the one of our solar system was a good jumping off point.
She started with the pieces for the sun, that warm, gaseous giver of life and light. She felt humbled by its presence, even in puzzle form, knowing that it could just EXPLODE at any minute and completely wipe out existence as we know it. "Meh. That probably won't happen for, like, a hundred years at least," she thought.
Ella placed the pieces for Mercury, Venus and Earth, then moved on to the Moon. She wondered what kind of cheese it was actually made of. Maybe String or Easy? "Don't be silly, Ella," she said aloud. "This is the MOON we're talking about. It's probably something way fancier like Gruyere. Or what if it's something totally new? Alien cheese. Ewww." She crinkled her nose at the thought and moved on to Mars and Jupiter.
She had once heard that Jupiter was where boys went to get stupider, so maybe that's where Jake really was all those times mommy and daddy said he was away at camp.
Then of course there was Saturn with the rings, Uranus and Neptune. Ella had noticed that people always giggled when they talked about the 7th planet from the sun, but she wasn't sure why.
"And last but certainly not least, Plu … Wait. Where's Pluto?" Ella looked down at the completed puzzle and was, well, puzzled. "That couldn't have been the last piece. Pluto's missing." She looked over the picture on the cover thoroughly. She even turned the box over a few times just to be sure.
Then she remembered. All that talk about Pluto not actually being a planet. But they wouldn't dare … would they? They actually left Pluto off of this puzzle … on purpose? "This is &#ll$#!%!" she thought.
What, did they just expect people to completely forget about it? Out of sight, out of mind? Is what they thought would happen? "Makes me sick." she said to no one in particular.
Ella was disgusted and outraged by the thoughtless snub of one of the solar system's most beloved celestial bodies. They couldn't even just put it on there as a show of respect? Like as an honorary planet?
"Well I, for one, am not going to stand for this," she thought. She went to the kitchen and retrieved a sticky note from the desk drawer, used a marker to draw a little round dot and labeled it "Pluto." Then she affixed it at the top of the puzzle, right next to Neptune where it belonged.
"I will never forget you, Pluto. Never. Forget."