Melissa & Doug Deluxe 17-Piece Band Set

by wootbot

Two Chords Is All You Need, Really

Underneath all the music, is rhythm. Command the beat and you can fake the rest.

We're gonna just go ahead and say it: your child probably wants to be a rapper, or a DJ, or some kind of backup dancer. Your child has probably never once thought about playing their own instruments. And that's why they DESPERATELY need to learn how to play.

FACT: If a rapper wants a cool xylophone sound on his or her record, he or she will have to hire a xylophonist. Also, he or she will have to figure out what a xylophonist is actually called. Maybe a vibe merchant?

FACT: If a DJ wants to mix in a castanet sound to help him or keep the beat, he or she will have to pay a castanet player royalties for the sound. It's the law, you know. Nobody rides for free.

FACT: If a backup dancer knows how to play the rhythm sticks, he or she become slightly more valuable than the backup dancer who does nothing but stomp around like a diva demanding for a raise. And backup dancers who aren't valuable are a dime a dozen. Possibly a nickel a dozen in Manhattan.

FACT: If your child can't rap, spin or dance, they can do all three poorly while playing a kazoo and suddenly they'll become modern art! Performance pieces not have to conform, you know. They just have to BE. Write a few lines about the beauty of childhood in the face of the modern era and you've got a grant locked down!

TRUTH: Without the Melissa & Doug Deluxe Band Set, your child will have a hard and serious life. Do not doom them to aeons of consternation! Teach them to smash the state (except that part that facilitates their royalty checks!) with a box full of instruments!

Plus, look at the price! It's much cheaper than turntables, dance lessons and/or fashionable track jackets.