Buzz Buzz Wiggle Wiggle Buzz Buzz Wiggle Wiggle
People ask me how I became the preeminent bumblebee communication expert in the world today. I just wink. They'll never know about my Wiggle Racer.
The year was 2014. There I was, balanced on my Wiggle Robo Racer using the power of my hips and legs to zip down the driveway. No pedals. No engine. No team of corgis in a harness with jingly bells to pull me. Just myself, providing motion by wiggling and enjoying the sound and lights. And then, I turned. And behind me, do you know what I saw? I saw a wave of bumblebees. And each one was copying me.
Of course, it took me years to put it all together. I couldn't accept what I had learned. I was just a child, having age-appropriate outdoor fun in my Wiggle Racer. But it turns out that I was wiggling in the exact pattern that my local bumblebees used to communicate. And, somehow, I instinctively knew where to turn and twitch to lead them to the most succulent clover at the end of my driveway!
Today, with my special cybernetic butt-harness, I command a legion of bumblebees. In fact, they've even built me a diamond hive where South America once stood, before we scoured the land to make honeycombs. Even now my bee-gion prepares tiny oxygen helmets to begin the conquest of space. But none of this would have happened without the Wiggle Robo Racer to teach me of my hidden talents.
And, for that, I am grateful.