You can tell them they're too young for motorcycles, but they can sniff out lies like a bloodhound sniffs butts.
Freedom and speed. The first time your child takes their tricycle down a hill, they know it. Like peanut butter and chocolate, they're two things that are made for each other. And once you have a little, you're always going to want more.
But isn't that what our nation is about? Isn't that what it means to be an AMERICAN?? Easy Rider wasn't just the Hollywood-sponsored voice of a generation, it was a statement: we're young, we're free, and we're in a hurry! Surely we all can understand THAT concept, right?
So go on. Buy your kid one of these Lil' Rider Motorcycle Ride-ons. Let 'em zip across the patio and down the driveway at a crushing 1.75 miles per hour. Let 'em learn balance, and style, and how to properly handle a challenge from a rival biker who thinks your kid is starting a turf war.
Because if they don't learn now, how will they be ready for the post-collapse Thunderdome fights? C'mon, you've seen the stock market, you know it's coming. And in that world, you can either ride a motorcycle or spend all day watching the overlord's pet monkey.