Kelty Junction 2.0 Rio Red Child Carrier

by wootbot

The Great Divide

If you can only pick one child carrier to use when being pursued by mythical monsters, pick this one.

When my husband said he wanted to buy a nice child carrier to be prepared for a zombie invasion, I didn't roll my eyes. I smiled, and said "Oh, honey. I don't believe in magic!" Because that's how I take my revenge. By reminding him that zombies aren't in any way scientific.

Of course, if our door smashes down because some mad scientist threw a mind control pill down the gullet of some janitors, sure, we'll just throw the baby in this hands-free backpack and make a break for it down the hill. Maybe he'll scream, maybe I'll scream, maybe the baby will scream, who can say? But, when that terrible day comes, we're not going to have time to start debating if that means they're just Frankensteins or if zombies require a certain amount of religion. So it's best we get it done today.

As my husband already knows, MY position is that a zombie can only exist in those rare situations that involve the application of voodoo. While I certainly wouldn't deny that certain plants assist in the so-called spells, just as the two-layer padded and contoured waistbelt assists in shifting your child's weight around your body, a TRUE zombie comes more from the belief structure than the pill bottle. Of course, my husband has been playing The Last Of Us non-stop, so he's got some weird theory about fungus and government mind control or whatever. Usually when he starts talking about that, I dig through the included storage pockets or read my copy of The Serpent And The Rainbow.

But that's what a marriage is about, yeah? Two people, with differing opinions, working together to find common ground. And that's why, even though I know in my heart the notion of the modern-day zombie is rooted in cultural privilege and first world snobbery, my husband still loves our child, and would run super-fast with a Kelty Junction 2.0 Rio Child Carrier on his back, no matter if it was a virus zombie from World War Z a mystical vampire from Dracula: Prince of Darkness, or a that weird alien shape-shifter from The Thing.

And that's why I love him.