InGenuity Bouncer

by wootbot

The Velvet Rope

Hey there, little baby in your InGenuity Bouncer. We're just gonna- okay, well, guess we'll wait in the line over there until you say we can go inside.

Boy, sure is a long line out here tonight. I was SURE I was gonna talk my way past the bouncer! But there he is, just sitting in his little chair, bouncing up and down. Not a word is going to convince him. He can't even talk! Pretty shrewd move, club owner, hiring a little baby.

Oh, here come three people... wait, no, that's his family. I can tell because of how happy he is to see them, and how she's adding some toys to the built-in toy bar on his InGenuity Bouncer. Yeah, look at that, just like I figured. Right in. I can't believe how unfair this place is.

Hey! Hey, baby! Yeah, you act like all that smooth, easy rhythm is lulling you into a state of soothed delight, but I know your game. Your InGenuity Bouncer is just a ploy so you can feel powerful, isn't it? So you can look down on people like me, who only want to wear jeans into a nightclub and have a good time! I tell you what, if you don't let me in, I'm gonna... I'm gonna fight you! That's right! I'll fight you right here! C'mon! Put 'em up! Let's go, baby! Let's go!

Oh, wow, I didn't know you had other InGenuity Bouncers here on staff too. That's a lot of angry babies. You know what, I'm just going to go to that pub a few blocks over and call it a night. I didn't really want to dance anyway.