Go Go Wooden Balance Bike

by wootbot

Pedal To The, Um, Wood

What kind of message do pedals send to children? Raise your kids right, and start em out on their own two feet.

Free pedals? Pedals my kids didn't even earn? No way, no how. No more wasting my hard-earned dollars subsidizing the worthless pedal unions and their lazy make-work projects. That's why MY kids get a nice, sane, logical Wooden Balance Bike.

Put your kid on this and they'll learn the important skills they'll one day need to ride a real bike- that they'll pay for themselves! And there's no wasted money on subsidized training wheels with this Balance Bike. Your kids have legs they got for free, that's all they need to achieve! Legs and will! Heck, it's got pneumatic rubber tires, what more do they WANT?

Nothing's standing in the way of your child buying a freakin' motorcycle if that's what they really wanna do. But YOU shouldn't have to give up YOUR earnings to pay for THEIR lifestyle! Give 'em a Wooden Balance Bike out of love, sure. Help 'em get started in life. But if they want pedals and chains and engines? They can kick-push themselves up to the bootstrap store and buy some on their own!