ERA Digital Video Baby Monitor

by wootbot

Baby, you’re a star.

All the on-screen exposure has gone to her giant, bobbly head.

She’s cute, but not like Gerber cute or anything. Just your average, all-American baby-next-door type. But when her parents got the Levana Digital Video Baby Monitor, everything changed.

She won’t respond to “Madison” anymore. It’s Maydysyn now, with three “y’s.” Maddiee for short. Yes, with an “iee.” It doesn’t have to make sense. It’s just how it is. Don’t ask questions, and don’t look her directly in the eye. Or from the left side. And whatever you do, NEVER film her from behind. Despite having a slim and lightweight profile, the extra cameras and split screen add about 10 ounces, and the built-in night vision isn’t the most flattering light.

For a nominal fee, she’ll make daycare appearances. But her rider is pretty specific. She requires six bottles of breast milk, warmed to a precise 98.6 degrees. She only eats orange foods, organic and homemade, of course. None of that jarred crap. All the toys in the room must be chartreuse. Not green. Not yellow. CHARTREUSE. Also, she requires one Bumbo with play tray. NO EXCEPTIONS … or you’ll be sorry.

The Levana's ClearVu® technology has a 500-foot range, so you’ll hear every snarf and snot-bubble of that temper tantrum with amazing clarity and precision from any room. Luckily, there's a power-saving mode that lets you select audio only. Let’s just say little Mads is not a pretty crier.