First dates are sweet. But revenge is much sweeter.
"I have to admit, when I first met you, I didn't think you were very smart."
Alex clutched his chest dramatically and feigned heartbreak. He had met Lauren, an adorable little blonde Anthropology major, in his Geology class. It was their first date, and he thought it was going pretty well, up to this point anyway.
"That's so not fair!" Alex protested. "He caught me off guard with that 'Think quick, Alex! Which way is north?' question."
Lauren smacked him playfully on the shoulder. "Oh whatever! You pointed up. UP! What was I supposed to think?"
"Oh, I dunno. That I'm so devastatingly handsome that it doesn't even matter if I've got rocks for brains?"
She giggled and looked down at her feet. It was chilly outside, so Alex rubbed his hands up and down her arms to warm them up. When she looked up, he leaned in for the kiss.
"So … you wanna come up?" he said with one eyebrow raised.
"OK. But ONLY to go over the stuff on next week's quiz!"
When they got to his dorm room, Alex took her coat and hung it over his desk chair, then hung his up in his closet.
"Can I get you something to drink? I think I've got some Coke Zeros in the mini fridge …"
When he turned around to offer her a can, he found her sitting on the edge of his bed, looking down disgustedly at what appeared to be a child's book.
"What the Hell is this, Alex?"
Alex didn't have a clue. He walked over and took the book from her hand. All the color drained from his face when he saw what she was so upset about.
It was a padded Disney Lady and the Tramp book, but Lauren's head was superimposed over all of the pictures of Lady.
"I found it in on your NIGHT STAND, Alex! And there are more! The Lion King, The Jungle Book, DUMBO. What kind of a sicko, are you?"
"Lauren, I swear to you, I have NO IDEA how these got here!"
"You know what? Save it. I'm going to use your bathroom, and then I'm out of here."
She crossed the room to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. Only a couple seconds had passed before Alex could hear her scream in disgust, and she was back out. She threw more books at his feet, Pinocchio, Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Peter Pan. Her face was pasted over the female characters in each of them.
"You are a serious creep, you know that?"
Before Alex could even respond, she was out the door. He ran down the hall after her, but she had already disappeared behind the elevator doors.
Behind him, Alex heard a sudden outburst of hysterical laughter. It was Donald.
"Dude! I told you I'd get you back! That was SA-WEET!"
Despite how mortified he was, Alex couldn't help but smile.
"Touché, my man. Touché."