The best way to carry your baby, human or otherwise.
"Speaking of total whack-a-doo," Michelle said to Sharon over the phone. "You will NOT believe what I overheard in the store today."
"Do tell," said Sharon.
"So there I was, standing in the department store in the kids' section looking at new rain boots for Ella, when this woman walked up to the clerk and started asking all sorts of questions about one of those Baby Nari Hip Huggers," said Michelle.
"Oh God. What is it? Some sort of new-age hippie contraption or something?" asked Sharon.
"No, Mom. They're actually pretty cool. They kinda look like fanny packs and they support your baby's weight while you're carrying them so you don't put a lot of stress on your lower back and arms," explained Michelle.
"Oh please," said Sharon. "I carried all three of you kids. On one hip. At the same time. You mothers are too soft nowadays."
Michelle ignored her and went on.
"So anyway, she's asking all these questions like, Are there a bunch of straps and buckles? No. Is the lining aerated and breathable? Yes. Does it feel bulky and obtrusive? No."
"Jeez, just buy the damn thing already!" said Sharon.
"I know, right?" said Michelle. "I felt so bad for the clerk because this woman just kept going on and on with all these questions. And then she even made her demonstrate the different sitting positions like facing mom, from the side and in front of mom."
"See, this is why I always worked from home," said Sharon. "I don't have the patience for people."
"Just wait. It gets better," said Michelle.
"Oh, boy," said Sharon.
"So finally the woman thanks the clerk and turns to walk away. But before she does, she asks one more question. Are you ready for this?" asked Michelle.
"I'm on the edge of my seat," said Sharon sarcastically.
"She asks, 'Would you say this could support the weight of a full-grown Shih Tzu, or just a puppy?'"
"NO!" Sharon exclaimed.
"YES!" insisted Michelle. "Can you BELIEVE that?"
"What I wouldn't give to have seen the look on that poor clerk's face," said Sharon.
"It was priceless, Mom. PRICELESS."
Sharon looked over at the clock and scowled. "Oh, honey, I just noticed the time and I've got to run. Will I see you and the kids next week?"
"Anything's possible," Michelle answered. "Who knows?"