5-in-1 Carry Me Near Sleep System

by wootbot

Change of Scenery

Don't let the sweet little coos coming from this bassinet fool you. That baby is just about to lose its mind.

Dude. I don't know how she does it. The baby, I mean. I get antsy if I'm stuck in traffic for longer than half an hour. She's been stuck in that 5-in-1 Sleep System since the day she was born. Literally.

Sure. She looks all happy and content all snuggled up in the bedside sleeper, close to mom and pop. But inside her tiny little head, she's screaming.

How would you like it, getting toted around from room to room by an ergonomically designed handle attached to a portable sleeper? Those gentle vibrations might seem like they'd be relaxing. But take it from a guy who's spent a little too much time in massage chairs. It gets old. Just look at her face right now. So sweet. So angelic. So full of rage.

But oh my! What's this? It can also be used as a changing table? Ever heard the phrase, don't $#!% where you eat? Yeah, that. Except with sleeping instead of eating. You might think she's saying "goo goo ga ga." She's not. She's saying "poo poo ca ca."

I'm telling you. Better move her from that play seat to the floor or a bouncer or something once in awhile. Otherwise, don't be surprised if you come home one day to find out she's burned the house to the ground.