inkycatz


quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz

Episode 1: The Fortune Teller



The fortune teller lay in the alley, her arm covered in bangles and bruises while clinging to a bloodstained monkey. She whispered just three words before she shuffled off this mortal coil...

Welcome to the April Woot-off, which caught only some of you off guard! How do you do it? Inkycatz and Pemberducky have decided to join forces to create a super-noir detective team to finally get to the bottom of this mystery. WE WANT TO KNOW.

Part 1:
What we need from you are the clues to help crack this case - your tips and tricks for predicting woot-offs!

Part 2:
What were those three words?

Oh fear not - you will be judged (seriously, you will be SO judged). Not just by us, but in the unlikely event of a tie* by whoever happens to be available on our instant work messengers at the time (we work with interesting people). We're looking for your creative best (which is not always accurate with reality), so break your tea leaves, gaze into the stars, read your woot-oscope, and share with us your clues! If you show us you've got what it takes, you can at least earn the bragging rights of "Cat & Duck's Investigative Assistant" (or something more clever) to put in your signature! ;)

But you'll have to hurry and think under pressure - we've only got until the end of April's Woot-off to collect clues and evidence! After the woot-off is done, come back and see what we think!

* we seem to agree a lot, but it could happen!

Quality Posts


I'm just hanging out, really.

PemberDucky


quality posts: 41 Private Messages PemberDucky

Staff

Hooray! Judging!


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Not sure if you should post that? This slightly-nsfw-flowchart will help.

rprebel


quality posts: 14 Private Messages rprebel

Part 1: I just wait for @cowboydann to make a prediction, then upvote him.
Part 2: IN FOR 3

theoneill555


quality posts: 56 Private Messages theoneill555

Save the monkeys!

That's O'neill with two L's *holds up three fingers*

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
inkycatz wrote:Part 1:
What we need from you are the clues to help crack this case - your tips and tricks for predicting woot-offs!

Part 2:
What were those three words?



1. monitor staff mod credit cards for surge in tampon purchases
2. IT'S SO INKY

http://www.click2houston.com/news/Woman-finds-moldy-tampon-in-new-box/-/1735978/9810750/-/dbwsmr/-/index.html

Josephus


quality posts: 25 Private Messages Josephus

hmm: "i wonder if there's been a woot-off lately?"

Josephus


quality posts: 25 Private Messages Josephus

"any sign of Matt in the press lately, spending more money than he should?"
cough "in the presence of Mark Cuban, for example?"

theant


quality posts: 7 Private Messages theant

Part 2: it is time!

part 1: find last woot-off, add 1 month, adjust for a mid-week (exclude weekends) tending toward 5 weeks, rather than 4 weeks since previous woot-off. Consider last X woot-off's to determine length (1 day, 3 day, etc...) Minor adjustment in woot-off length also made for # of sold-out woots during previous month. and again for woot's that seemed to qualify as "woot killers" - woot-off will be shorter if a lot of sell-outs, and longer with a lot of woot-killers. -woot killers are defined as items that did not seem to sell as fast or in high a quanity as woit seems to predict.
Woot-off more likely to start on a tuesday or wednesday and not often on a monday. same for friday. almost never a woot off on friday, and less likely but possible on a thursday. Then I check my pay-schedule and work-schedule and assume it will happen when I am broke and have to work.

moosezilla


quality posts: 5 Private Messages moosezilla

part 1: sorry guys/gals. it's not fortune telling. y'all seem to always wait as long as possible, yet still fit in a three day woot-off without having to spend extra of your weekend at work.

part two: missed the Bunnies Ogling Carrots

edited: when posted the bunnies were listed as a one word symbol to fit the 3 word requirement

luvche21


quality posts: 6 Private Messages luvche21

Part 1: Something in the back of my head says "It's been way too long since the last the last Woot-off." Then, when I check Woot, voila!

Part 2: F5 still broken.

moosezilla


quality posts: 5 Private Messages moosezilla

oh. you wanted creative, not reality.

part 1. monitor everyones bank account to see if there is any money left, then realize they will go in debt for more stuff thus spending next month rent today then start the w-o

part 2. "m-last words are...."

notanaardvark


quality posts: 4 Private Messages notanaardvark

1. I check the classifieds for lots of lost pets . . .wait, that's for earthquakes. Well, I've been predicting one of those as well.

2. Check the cape.

Mavyn


quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn

Part 1: There is a strong predictive correlation between woot offs, mens facial hair and length of womens skirts.

Part 2: Per the Magic 8-ball, "Ask again later."

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

theant


quality posts: 7 Private Messages theant

The woman sits in front of her crystal ball, bangles clicking and chiming. She waves her hands in front of the mists that swirl within the glass. An image seems to form and jerks the old lady from her contemplations.

Part2 : "bag of OH CRAP!"

and falls over dead from the shock of actually being able to predict the occurrence of that ever elusive magical item.

okham


quality posts: 1 Private Messages okham

Part 1: I have found woot-offs tend to occur approximately 6 weeks after a solar flare that endangers the earth. To celebrate their internet failing, Mayans used bags of hearts during their woot-offs instead of Bunnies Ogling Carrots.

Part 2: Who needs sleep?

w00tgurl


quality posts: 26 Private Messages w00tgurl

WOOT CLUE 2012! never forget

Cat & Duck's Investigative Assistant
LONG LIVE WOOT CLUE 2012! r.i.p. you are miseed

hackman2007


quality posts: 14 Private Messages hackman2007

Part 1: Woot writers are quiet, toward the end of the month, less moofi items on Deals.Woot, and of course the e-mail the day before the woot-off.

Part 2: Worst Woot-off Ever?

linkage89


quality posts: 1 Private Messages linkage89

1- Do I have to work and be away from my computer all day? If NO go to 1A, if YES go to 1B

1A - don't worry, no woot-off

1B - Has it been about a month since the last woot-off? If NO go to 1A, if YES go to 1C

1C - Do I have money in the bank? if YES go to 1A, if NO go to 1D

1D - WOOT OFF!

2 - 3...day....woot-off...


durkzilla


quality posts: 5 Private Messages durkzilla

Part 1 - I don't anymore - I used to get the occasional Woot! newsletter the day before, but that no longer holds.

Part 2 - "weed killer!"

[edit] hit reply to see my actual three words... Darned filters.

panthiest


quality posts: 17 Private Messages panthiest

Part 1: There is a concrete duck-blind constructed on the roof of a building opposite a certain business. Three highly trained men (or women, *it's a secret to everybody*) wait in that blind day and night with binoculars to read the lips of their targets.

Part 2: I'm not telling.

swaan


quality posts: 2 Private Messages swaan

1: Cat t-shirts, vacuum cleaners, and geeky toys.

2: Refresh, refresh, refresh.

pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady

Part 1: Decide the Woot writers have had enough time to come up with extra blogs for Woots that haven't come up before.

Part 2: I want one.



The biggest lie that I tell myself daily..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

capguncowboy


quality posts: 15 Private Messages capguncowboy

Part 1: rewrite the boggle dice with days of the month. Shake it up and read the results.

(throw away the dice and get out the darts. Use them to threaten @inkycats into telling us when the wootoff will be)

Part 2: Enjoy the results

EDIT: Put the dice into a sock and beat the wootoff information out of Inky

It seems to flow better that way -- the confession, not the method.

j5


quality posts: 63 Private Messages j5

part 1: Watch Sunday night's episode of Game of Thrones. If the execution of Eddard Stark is mentioned more than 3 times, then WootOff.

part 2: Wootoff is coming.

move along

sellbuyer92


quality posts: 87 Private Messages sellbuyer92

Part 1:
I definitely know that Woot's schedule for w00toffs is about a month...and that currently is falling on about the 22nd, 23rd of every month, So when it hits about the 20th I gear up and stay up late a couple of nights to make sure I can get the drop on anything they throw at us at one in the morning...

Part 2: "I can haz?"

chris12345


quality posts: 25 Private Messages chris12345

Part 1:
The monkeys have the information. She asked her Woot monkey. He told her, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you." She thought he was joking.

Part 2:
She whispered, "I loved you."

Portions of this comment have been redacted.

pattiq


quality posts: 0 Private Messages pattiq

This Woot Off is not in the correct week. There is a mistake here. It is next week I have to work all day and can not play. I predict a major crash for the code monkeys to fix and a resumption next week.

F5, tweet, deals (repeat)

lichme


quality posts: 3111 Private Messages lichme

But you'll have to hurry and think under pressure - we've only got until the end of April's Woot-off to collect clues and evidence! After the woot-off is done, come back and see what we think!

Luckily, I know exactly how long this is. I got some time.

-----------------------------

Part 1. I am John Connor. I know this guy that has access to Time Displacement Equipment. I can see into the future. I have seen the next movie, and it is not good. Rather then saving the world again and making another crappy movie, I have used my powers for the greater good of mankind.

Part 2. Sold Out Already



carl669


quality posts: 27 Private Messages carl669

Part 1 - that's easy. Barbara Eden is my personal genie.

Part 2 - save the monkey.

--------------------------------------
Wife: Do you really need all this junk?
Me: At least I don't ask you if it makes me look fat.

niloc225


quality posts: 0 Private Messages niloc225

Part 1 - I have this friend with a screwdriver that tells me when the next woot-off will be occurring.

Part 2 - Roombas are cool

lichme


quality posts: 3111 Private Messages lichme

Note: Just like deals.woot, I am one spot above carl669 - In yo face!

adamant628


quality posts: 8 Private Messages adamant628

Part 1: I woke up at 7:30 eastern to find the woot-off going on and a Bunnies Ogling Carrots already given away...drat.

Part 2: drat drat drat

inkycatz


quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz
lichme wrote:Note: Just like deals.woot, I am one spot above carl669 - In yo face!



You see inkycatz borrow a gypsy veil.

"I'm seeing something... in the ball... it is fuzzy....

It looks like..."



ps. back to the game, I couldn't resist

I'm just hanging out, really.

carl669


quality posts: 27 Private Messages carl669
lichme wrote:Note: Just like deals.woot, I am one spot above carl669 - In yo face!



damn you and the donkey/horse/bike/car/bus/train/plane you rode in on!

--------------------------------------
Wife: Do you really need all this junk?
Me: At least I don't ask you if it makes me look fat.

wilcononomous


quality posts: 20 Private Messages wilcononomous

Part 1:
Violently threaten caped monkey tied to a chair.

Part 2:
When is it!?!?

joshaw


quality posts: 24 Private Messages joshaw

1. Check woot at midnight every night for a wootoff regardless (even if a wootoff ended the night before).
2. "Finally, another wootoff!"

MrsBeny


quality posts: 1 Private Messages MrsBeny

The winds, they whisper to me. They did so last night. Near the witching hour the first call comes.

"Brriiiiiiiiiing your Vissssssssssaaaaaaaa."

I know now that one of two things has happened. A Woot-off is about to come to fruition, or Walmart has received a new shipment of Monster High Dolls. I must wait. Shortly thereafter comes the clarification.

"Youuuuuu'llll need Reeeeedddddd Bullllllllll"


She said, (and I quote), "....I wanted FOUR."


gwendyw


quality posts: 8 Private Messages gwendyw

First, the last woot-off boxes go out in the recycling. Next, the mailman is being pleasant again, and there haven't been any Fed-ex notices stuck on the door for at least two weeks. But the real tell is when the leakfrogs and the screaming monkeys start to chatter for no apparent reason.

As for the last three words....

With A Mac.

Poor lady...She never saw the truck of Bunnies Ogling Carrots's coming.

sirlouie


quality posts: 9 Private Messages sirlouie

1. I check the Mayan calendar.

2. Et tu, Woote?

-SL

lobstrain


quality posts: 11 Private Messages lobstrain

Part 1: A surge of actual work at the office usually means a woot-off is coming. Always appears when I'm swamped.

Part 2: What Tiny Flowers?!