quality posts: 48 Private Messages Tiamat114

How does one predict a woot-off? For us common folks we simply take them as they come, with the same excitement and joy as finding not one but two toy prizes in your cereal box.

But there are others, the ones who are known in some circles as the illwootminati. It is they who pull the strings and decipher the masterfully mind boggling messages and cryptic clues in the write ups of the featured products each and every day, piecing them together using the staff of King Baggoff Kraptos under the light of the banana moon upon the scroll of Moofinios written by the prophets Remitrom and Etnom who forsaw the coming of the woot-off and penned their predictions and prophecies onto the crappy scroll, in hopes to pass on the knowledge to the treasure hunters.

As for the fortune tellers final words, they were thus: "I'm...first...sucker...".


quality posts: 5 Private Messages chellemonkey

1. if woot has items that you don't want enough days in a row that you forget to check OR you are running late and can't check before later in the day.

2. More Monkey Madness


quality posts: 4 Private Messages smasumur

Part 1: Unless it's near Christmas time, W-Os tend to be around the 20th or so of each month.

Part 2: Is it Mac-compatible?


quality posts: 25 Private Messages Josephus

3 words? bah! One word..."Wootenschmirtz"


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Prima

1: Vary Carefully

2: It is now


quality posts: 15 Private Messages Bogie21

It's interesting that this came up. I was asked this question today by a co-worker.

There is a long and a short story, but I will keep this one short.

You see, years ago, I purchased a USB refrigerator from Woot to keep on my desk at work. After some time, a monkey moved in. Free AC, plenty of room, and USB power!

Every night he peaks out of his home at midnight to make sure the cleaning crew is done before he ventures out to play.

On the rare occasion he wears himself out so much that he leaves the door open and greets me when I come in to work.

Oddly enough, every time his door is open, there is a 50/50 chance of there being a woot-off. He's almost like the groundhog, magical.

Part 2: "Make It So"


quality posts: 17 Private Messages xdavex

1. I learned from Bullwinkle: Eenie meenie chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak...

2.Worse Wootoff Ever


quality posts: 5 Private Messages moosezilla

[quote postid="4966361" user="Bogie21"]It's interesting that this came up. I was asked this question today by a co-worker.

There is a long and a short story, but I will keep this one short.

love your pics. i so wanna hug your monkey.


quality posts: 7 Private Messages potter412

1 - I KNOW a woot-off is coming when I get that warm, tingly feeling in my....... oh damn, I guess I just had to pee.

2 - I need depends. (Apparently even when there is no woot-off!)


quality posts: 7 Private Messages iGGz

1) Newsletter

2) I love monkeys


i am woot's god.

You're the giant Ken Jennings head? HOW DID YOU GET OUT?


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar

I know thee is a wootoff when I see the lights.

Where's my prize?

Still single, can't imagine why.


quality posts: 2 Private Messages klozitshoper
FenStar wrote:I know thee is a wootoff when I see the lights.

Where's my prize?

I have it - a netbook!


quality posts: 3 Private Messages bruceoite

I sense Woot Offs by the wind on the trees. You see, the minions in Dallas have a very tangible connection to the weather. When boxes are moved, dust is unsettled. That dust scares the moths hiding amongst the Roombas.

These moths flutter about, causing slight vibrations through the air. The only thing on earth that are sensitive enough to these vibrations is the primatus aviatus, or flyer monkey.

Disturbed by the vibrations, they call out and take flight, but hopelessly fly in a clockwise circular pattern. This forces the cumbulonimbus clouds to start to swirl and form funnel clouds.

These funnel clouds move across the great plains, leaving havoc and destruction in their wake. Around Iowa, the massive power unleashed by these cyclones starts to wither and fade. As they move across Illinois and into Chicago, all that is left is a gentle breeze across my cheek, and the faint whisper of "crap".

It is this breeze that starts my watch over the Woot home page. Like the great stone kings of Gondor, I stand watch, and wait, for the chance to buy hope, and comfort, in the form of 432 magnetic balls.

The fortune teller said "Klaatu Barada Nik.." Necktie... Neckturn... Nickel... It was an "N" word, it wsas definitely an "N" word...


quality posts: 0 Private Messages shadowblue42

1 - at least 4 weeks from last woot-off,at least X number of items not sell out since last woot off ( unknown number, 20? )

2- buy more crap


quality posts: 44 Private Messages duckcake

1) It has (for a while) and probably will continue to ALWAYS begin on a Tuesday. Rarely is it the 1st Tuesday of the month. So that narrows it down to 3 (4) days.

2) Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days.
Thursday, Friday, Happy Days.
Saturday, What a day,
Groovin' all week with you.

Hi people =þ


quality posts: 0 Private Messages oo7slice

1. How do I know?
Things come and things go.
If you really wanna know
You're gonna have to feel my flow.

I was walking down the street, just the other day
When I stopped to trace a beat, that I heard one 90's May.
In my confusion and suspicion, the tune was chronic ill
But because of intuition, I recognized Jagged Little Pill.

I thought, "Alanis Morissette, where have you been"?
I had your number 1 cassette, but this is now and that was then.
Ironically, I walked, with my hand in my pocket,
Until, you oughta know, I came across a rocket.

If I were Pinky or the Brain, I'd be Pinky, he says, "narf."
So call me a bandwagon-jumping-uber-hipster
But I'm not the one with the gaudy lighting fixture.

What the crap in world was I supposed to tell you here?
I forgot, but give me time, after all, it's leap year.
Oh yeah, that's right, you wanna know how I know.
Piece of cake (it's a lie), hold yo' breath and read below.

2. Ebb and flow.


quality posts: 18 Private Messages DaveInSoCal

Wootoff's can't be predicted, they simply are. One must be prepared at all times, vigilantly awaiting the opportunity. Like a stealthy hunter, we sit quietly for days, weeks and yes, sometimes months for our prey to show itself and then WE POUNCE!

Wait, another Roku?


quality posts: 8 Private Messages ecriscit

First, I run a computer simulation of the effects of earthquakes in various areas of the globe. I then run another query regarding home.woot purchases near those earthquke locations.

Second, I use a pressure sensor at the bottom of my keyboard to determine if the lunar pull has affected my typing.

Third, I then map the locations of the places most prone to buying leakfrogs. I Consult the data currently being compiled by woot satellites along with demographic data for moofi purchases

Fourth, I then watch the S&P looking for a carrot top with a declinging cup and saucer spread equivalent to the micro cap 600 index.T his is an immediate visual indicator that a wootoff is building.

Fifth, I then pay attention to the comments on deals.woot, looking for repeated common questions such as what is a Barrel of Crops?

Sixth, I then check blood elevation levels of wine.woot purchasers to predict which areas of the are likely needing more alcohol.

seventh, I then pay attention to the latest woot off prediction information, such as local.woot and sellout.woot.

Those three words: I'll never tell.


quality posts: 5 Private Messages aafalke

Part 1: The Woot boards are getting restless...in the back of our minds, it's bubbling...it's been too long since our last white-knuckled day, sleepless night, the F5 key has been fixed for two weeks now, and let's see...three days till payday! Yep. It's time.

Part 2: Not another Dyson! *groan*


quality posts: 18 Private Messages DaveInSoCal

Ooh. Are the 3 words "card security code"?


quality posts: 18 Private Messages DaveInSoCal

Got it. The 3 words are:

"One Day, One Deal"


quality posts: 17 Private Messages jeremytheindian

1. It's simple. Did I just buy something at regular price because I got tired of waiting for it to come back to Woot? I did? Woot off next day... With the item I bought at a better deal as everyone calls it a weed killer.

2. Sleep, No... Refresh.

Wootsx65 - Boatload of Crapo-Primox3


quality posts: 716 Private Messages CowboyDann

I've just become so attached (addicted) to the woot community as a woot member I started to gain a woot-sense (like spider senses). Now I just know when woot-offs are coming and all that stuff. Just look at who predicted the last two sale-guessing games over at Music Monday Woot.com on turntable

@Agingdragqueen says I'm not allowed to play because of my woot-senses (Even though I tried to make my guesses less obvious she still caught on) Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

I wish I could give you some creative clues but it just comes natural to me.

Part 2: Look out behind-


quality posts: 21 Private Messages wilcononomous
CowboyDann wrote:still working on this. 1 min

tick tock... tick tock...


quality posts: 5 Private Messages moosezilla
wilcononomous wrote:tick tock... tick tock...

sorry i slapped him with a large fishbot over on conversation board. he might not be concious yet


quality posts: 716 Private Messages CowboyDann
moosezilla wrote:sorry i slapped him with a large fishbot over on conversation board. he might not be concious yet

lol I was working on it and just finishing it up when you slapped me I woulda been done faster had I not got interrupted by you and then @AnotherHiggins


quality posts: 18 Private Messages DaveInSoCal

Part 1: When things are going just a bit too smoothly with my fiance, a phone buzzer goes off at 10 PM (PT), and she says...

Part 2: ..."Oh, another Woot-off?"


quality posts: 2 Private Messages swaan

1: You know, it always sneaks up on me, and suddenly I'm surrounded by all these deals. I should have paid better attention to that soothsayer.

2: "Et tu, Wootay?"


quality posts: 1 Private Messages astralia

1) It's almost guaranteed that, as soon as I clean my cache and delete my form data, a mysterious bag filled with crap will appear, and I'll get lost in a login loop whilst others gleefully get theirs.

2) Baccarat or Canasta?


quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz

Just a reminder while the lights are on, the games will continue! We're enjoying everything we've seen so far and anyone jumping in has some tough competition to beat! For those who have entered, come back after the lights are off - well, during the day after (the cat and duck are daytime creatures) to find out what we thought and such!

I'm just hanging out, really.


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
inkycatz wrote:For those who have entered, come back after the lights are off - well, during the day after (the cat and duck are daytime creatures) to find out what we thought and such!

reminds me of madonna - many have entered but few come back


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

Part 1: My friend Ed stops going out to lunch and complains that he may not have enough gas in his car to get to and from work until we get paid on Friday.

Part 2: Wake up, WOOT-OFF!


quality posts: 0 Private Messages gwp

2. "Hold my beer..."


quality posts: 42 Private Messages PemberDucky


man. this is going to be difficult.

Not sure if you should post that? This slightly-nsfw-flowchart will help.


quality posts: 2 Private Messages eviloverlord333

1 - I have minions everywhere and the woot warehouse is no exception. The minions stationed at the warehouse smuggle out a message stuffed inside a Gund Flying Pig that gives the exact date of the woot-off and the timing of the Mysterious Baggie.

2 - the - spy - is.............


quality posts: 9 Private Messages theant

You know that ants are everywhere right? and that they can lift 50 times their own body weight? Well I am the master off all the ant colony's within Texas. And of course when the woot warehouse gets a little full, the weight pushes down on the various ant nests under the buildings. At that point it is not so difficult for a stream of scent-messages to make its way to me. I usually have at least an hour's warning before they set those lights to spinning.

"bye bye paycheck" (and possibly a sigh as her last breath leaves her lips)


quality posts: 9 Private Messages theant

How many of you know that ants farm? Well they really do and in order to keep up with the times, the ants of the world have expanded to server farms. It's easy to keep them cool within the depths of the ground. As the undisputed leader of all ant-kind I have access to all the ant server farms currently online, and guess where the woot servers are located? yep you guessed it. We refer to is as the W.D.D. which most people thinks stands for World Development Directorate. It actually means Woot Domination Department. The IT-ants have very strict instructions to keep an eye out on the woot servers. And whenever a woot-off is near, the heightened activity means a quick message to the boss, meaning me.

"screaming flying monkeys?"


quality posts: 9 Private Messages theant

alternate last words :

"no more leakfrogs?"


quality posts: 3917 Private Messages lichme

I do not predict the woot off. I create it. You see, many years ago I inadvertently purchased some books on tape. I have this colleague, who's primary goal in life is to take over the world. *NARF* For days and days he would try to accomplish this. He went weeks without showering, and started to smell. Finally I could not take it anymore, even for a rodent he was pungent. I went online and purchased books on tape on "Brain Washing". I figured I could give him a real good scrubbing to get the odor out. I listened to these books several times. Not once did it explain on how to give my friend a bath. *POIT* I was about to give up and move on with my life, and then I had an idea. *GONK* I could get him to shower himself. It was quite easy actually. I just needed to make him think that he wanted to shower, and not that I wanted him to shower. *ZORR*. Well, my furry little friend did end up showering, however his plans were still sub-par, so I decided to branch out and take on the task of world domination on my own. Using the techniques I learned from the book, I figured that I needed to control many minds. Not just any minds, only the brightest minds. To test my brain washing abilities, I decided to get people to go crazy over nothing, some might even call it crap. Once you have the people, you cannot be stopped. *ZOUNDS* Now, for me to get the people. That is where the Woot-Off comes in to play. After I left my associate, I found my way into a nice cozy building in Texas. After taking up a home in a warehouse full of boxes, I came to know the people there. Day in and day out, they sent these boxes all over America. *EGAD* I decided that I would have these people distribute my message for me. It took a while to crack their minds, but eventually I was successful. I started adding my message in the boxes. "Buy the crap, you need the crap". You see, when there is a woot-off, it is because I wanted there to be a woot-off. I put it in their brain, and made it so. While you flock to the website, getting emotional and trembling, you are just confirming my tactics are successful. Be prepared, this is just the phase 1. *GAT*.... and they said that I was the dumb one.

I will leave you with these three words........ You Saw Nothing

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Warning: Too much awesome to be contained in such a small space


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek

1: Wootoffs always happen when work demands I go somewhere for several days without reliable internet access.

2: Pro Bay Shun