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Baby Genius 7-DVD Bundle - $14.99

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:00:10 -0600

The Kid Stays in the Picture

For baby geniuses, by baby geniuses.

Hi there, I’m Gordon Tinsley. I wrote, directed, and animated each of these DVDs, and I can personally attest to their quality. Because I, myself, am a baby genius.

It takes a lot of people 30 years to figure out exactly what they want to do in life; it took me 30 days, then another 30 days tinkering around on my dad’s Mac, and now bang-o, I’m a full-fledged film maker, cranking out rich, educational DVDs with dancing bears and dinosaurs and everything. You want to know a little bit about the four seasons? I got you covered, even though I’ve only actually experienced, like, one and a half of them so far. How about some counting? Or Nursery Rhymes? A little bit of Mozart for sleepy time? Done, done, and done.

I’ll even take you to the San Diego friggin’ zoo! Have I ever been to the San Diego Zoo? No! But I have plans to go when I finally finish up the paperwork for that time share in Ocean Beach. Mom even got me some buckets and stuff to make sand castles with. But I had her send them back. Because, look, I know a thing or two about neo-romantic architecture and it’s not all cylinders like the sand toy industry would have you believe.

But anyway, back to my work. Can I guarantee that your kids will enjoy these DVDs? Yes. Can I guarantee that your kids will turn out to be full-fledged child prodigies like me? No. I mean, even with my overdeveloped intellect, I still manage to cry unexpectedly, poop my pants, speak gibberish, and sleep weird hours. But to be fair, that’s not because I’m a baby. It’s because I’m an artist.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Condition: New

Features:

This outstanding collection of Baby Genius DVDs includes themes about playtime outings and little children interacting in the events and places around them
The focus is on entertainment and teaching children in an environment filled with fun and adventure
Animation is combined with children’s songs and includes fun-loving Baby Genius characters like DJ the Dinosaur, Vinko the Dancing Bear and more

Technical Specifications:

Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only)
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1

The Four Seasons DVD

Enter a world of beauty, peace, and tranquility, where nature's gentle sounds of falling water, rustling autumn leaves, and spring songbirds bring enjoyment and stimulation to your baby's world. Your child will delight in the vibrant and ever-changing landscapes painted by all four glorious seasons, as only Baby Genius can capture. This Kids First "Video fo the Year" Award winner is yet another stroke of Baby Genius.
Special Features
- Includes both English & Spanish languages
- Magical Musical Helper
- The Alphabet Song Sing-A-Long and Bonus Song
Approx Run Time: 33 Minutes

Favorite Counting Songs DVD

It's pure fun in motion when children visit a karate class and rowing club, step in tune to the marching band, practice cheerleading moves and much, much more. Kids will enjoy stunning visuals and delightful children's songs that introduce little ones to the world of numbers. Each song focuses on a number from one to ten in this fun, magical and musical adventure.
Special Features
- Includes both English & Spanish languages
- Sing-A-Longs
- The Frankie Prance Sing-A-Long and Bonus Song
Approx Run Time: 30 Minutes

Mozart and Friends Sleepytime DVD

Praised by experts and academics, Mozart and Friends Sleepytime is the second award-winning video from Baby Genius! Your baby will be gently lulled to sleep through relaxing images of playful puppies, cuddly kittens, flowing fields of flowers and more... all played out on a musical bed of Mozart.
Special Features
- Includes both English & Spanish languages
- Magical Musical Helper
- A Special Message
Approx Run Time: 32 Minutes

Favorite Nursery Rhymes DVD

Animation and live action combined with classic nursery rhymes to get toes tapping and hands clapping. Favorite Nursery Rhymes features familiar classics like Old McDonald's Farm; Row, Row, Row Your Boat; Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star; along with Baby Genius originals, and many more. The fun never ends!
Special Features
- Includes both English & Spanish languages
- Sing-A-Longs
- No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed Sing-A-Long and Bonus Song
Approx Run Time: 62 Minutes

Underwater Adventures DVD

Underwater Adventures features colorful images and undersea life swimming with excitement. DJ, Vinko and pals take children on an entertaining underwater experience they'll enjoy over and over again. Tots will thoroughly delight in dolphins, sea lions, manta rays, and more as these ocean creatures move to enchanting classical music.
Special Features
- Includes both English & Spanish languages
- Magical Musical Helper
- Come Swim With Me Sing-A-Long and Bonus Song
Approx Run Time: 32 Minutes

A Trip to the San Diego Zoo DVD

This video brings the San Diego Zoo to life for your child. There are gorillas, and hippos, and bears, oh my. Children experience the beauty of brightly colored tropical birds, and witness the first giant panda born at the Zoo. This Parents Magazine "Video of the Year" Award winner is a musical menagerie to stimulate your child's mind.
Special Features
- Includes both English & Spanish languages
- Magical Musical Helper
- 1,2, I Love You Sing-A-Long and Bonus Song
Approx Run Time: 37 Minutes

Favorite Sing-A-Longs DVD

Children singing - it's precious, pure and good for them! An amazing group of Baby Genius characters create a musical funfest with marvelous sing-a-longs like Apples and Bananas and Itsy Bity Spider. Favorite Sing-A-Longs is fully animated and features lively music designed to capture kids' attention and teach rhymes and rhythms.
Special Features
- Includes both English & Spanish languages
- Sing-A-Longs
- The Oboe Groove Sing-A-Long and Bonus Song
Approx Run Time: 30 Minutes

Additional Photos:

In the box:

(1) The Four Seasons DVD
(1) Favorite Counting Songs DVD
(1) Mozart & Friends Sleepytime DVD
(1) Favorite Nursery Rhymes DVD
(1) Underwater Adventures DVD
(1) A Trip to the San Diego Zoo DVD
(1) Favorite Sing-A-Longs DVD

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Price: $14.99

Smart Gear Smart Balance Bike

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:00:02 -0600

Stop The Lies

It’s hard to be a child. Everything we tell them is a lie. Up to and including “training wheels will help you ride a bike better.”

Think back to your first bike, the day the training wheels came off. Was it easy? No, it wasn’t easy at all. It was like a whole different experience… because it was. You had to step down, maybe you fell over, possibly you cried a little and said you didn’t want to ride bikes any more. You felt sad and betrayed and swore revenge on the world that crushed you with a lie; the lie that said three wheelers are the same as two wheelers. Maybe that’s when you truly became an adult. Maybe that’s the day your innocence was lost.

But now, you’ve got a child. And your child is looking up at you saying “Mommy or Daddy, will you teach me to ride a bike?” And the little part of you still wanting revenge is laughing and saying “YES, MY CHILD! I’LL GIVE YOU TRAINING WHEELS! TAKE THAT! AHAHAHAHAHA!” But the part of you that wants to be a good parent? That part knows a Smart Gear Balance Bike is the way to go.

The Smart Gear Balance Bike isn’t some four-wheeled lie. The Smart Gear Balance Bike is a two-wheeler, just like a real bicycle. It’s specially designed to develop a child’s balance on a two wheeler, not some crazy tricycle that rides totally different. Because there are no pedals, kids can learn the hard balance stuff under their own power, kicking and catching themselves with their feet as needed. Once they’re zooming down the street with their legs up, you know to help them level up to a real bicycle, and guess what? At that point, there won’t be any learning curve at all!

Sure, some lesser parents will always use training wheels, but world-threatening bad guys have to come from somewhere, don’t they? Help your child stay on the side of right. Teach them to live correctly, to live without lies. Get them a Smart Gear Balance Bike. And finally, let go of your childhood pain.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Condition: New

Features:

Helps children develop the most important skills necessary to later ride a 2 wheel bicycle with pedals: balance and motor skills
Designed to develop a child’s balance and coordination by simply allowing the child to sit and walk or run with the bike by pushing with their feet
If the bike starts to fall, kids instinctively regain their balance using their feet
Once they’ve gained some momentum and balance control they can lift their feet up as they feel comfortable and start cruising
Also suitable for children who need to be encouraged with motor skill development and therapeutic training
Limited steering radius to prevent jackknifing
Adjustable seat height to grow with your child
Eco Friendly
- Wood harvested from a replenishable source
- Formaldehyde free glue
- Non-toxic paints and lacquer
- Carton is made from recycled paper with water-based ink printing

Technical Specifications:

Suitable for ages 2 years and up to 60 pounds
Five-position adjustable seat height from 13.5” to 17.5”
Dimensions: 35”L x 15.5”W x 22”H
Weight: 11 lbs
Pneumatic (inflatable) rubber tires with extra-long tube valves
Rubberized handle bar grips
Cushioned leatherette seat
Spokeless disk wheels to prevent little feet from getting caught
Unique carry handle incorporated in the bike’s body

Additional Photos:

In the box:

(1) Smart Gear Balance Bike (choose between Classic, Spring Fever or Flames)

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Coop Gription Football – 2 Pack

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:00:24 -0600

Good Hustle Starts Early

What do you mean by “the post-season,” huh, son? Because you don’t get a day off until I see a Bowl-sized ring on that finger!

Son, I’m glad YOU think late February is the time to start goofing off, but for real football players, late February only means you give 100% instead of 110%! Maybe once you can grab like Mario Manningham you’ll deserve a couple weeks off, but right now? You’re in the prime training years! So come on, put down that video game and lets hit the backyard gridiron. Hurry up! MOVE!

Okay, now, here’s the play. I’ll be back here with the Coop Gription Football 2-Pack and I want you to head straight up the center, then buttonhook right, and then I’m gonna throw the first ball left and you’re gonna cross and grab the heavy-duty stitching. Then the second you feel the super grip TPR technology against your palm, immediately break diagonal back towards me, because the second ball will be flyin’ at you. Run hard and don’t be afraid to dive. If you make it, you’ll get a hand on the Coop Gription Football’s real laces, and then it’ll be first down.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What do you mean with all that “it’s not in the rules to use two balls at once” crybaby talk? Do you think the other team’s gonna play by the rules? This is war, son! You want to play a game, we’ll switch to baseball! No, no, come back here, we’re not switching to baseball. Listen, son. Take a knee.

Son, I love you. You’re the most important thing in the world to me this time of year, and you’re in the top three between September and February. That’s why I’ve got to be hard on you, do you understand? Because when you’re out on that field, and you’re down by four with ten seconds left, and the coach tells you to run that ball a hundred yards… well, son, I don’t want you to have to tell him no. You’re gonna be able to do the impossible, and when I look down from that skybox you’re gonna buy me and wave, the TV people are going to say “There’s a man who knows how to raise a great football player!”

So you ready now? You pumped? Yeah! YEAH! LET’S DO THIS, BABY! YEAH! BLUE SIXTY EIGHT! RED FORTY TWO! HERE COMES THE COOP GRIPTION FOOTBALL TWO-PACK SPECIAL! HUT HUT!

Warranty: 90 Day Swimways

Condition: New

Features:

Super grip clear skin for outstanding grip in all conditions – no ball is easier to catch and throw
Real laces for a great feel and tight spirals
Perfect for all weather conditions and terrain
Clear outer skin allows colorful graphics to shine through
Durable inflatable butyl bladder
Heavy duty stitching
Ages 5+

Additional Photos:

Packaging

In the box:

(2) Coop Gription Super-Grip Footballs (colors will be chosen for you)

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Kid Kraft Adjustable Lounger

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:00:16 -0600

No, No, Don’t Get Up

Kids, if you’re all going to be lazy good-for-nothings, you need to learn how to do it right.

Really, I like what you guys are doing with that “head buried in a hand-held device of some kind and vehemently complaining the moment you’re asked to contribute anything at all to the world around you” thing you’ve got going, but there’s so much more you could NOT be doing! Think of all the excess energy you’re wasting grunting in response to something your parents ask you or reading this write-up on your phone? You need you a chance to finally give up completely and be the anchor that drags your folks down we all know you can be! You NEED a Kid Kraft Adjustable Lounger.

Think of all the hours, days, even YEARS of your life you can waste away by sitting on one of these comfy, velour fabric-covered chairs with a steel frame that adjusts at the back and feet! Just flop down, let your arms and jaw hang limp, wheeze as you breathe, and find a spot on a wall to stare blankly at. Be careful, though. Don’t go updating your status online. That kind of thing means you care about something, and we can’t have that.

Before you know it, the true power of apathy will take hold and your destiny as the most useless generation will finally be realized! How do you say “congratulations” in your language? Oh, that’s right. “Whatevs.”

Warranty: 90 Day Kid Kraft

Condition: New

Features:

A great addition to any child’s room or playroom!
Adjustable at the back and feet – just click it into one of several positions!
Made of velour fabric with a steel frame
Adjusts in seconds – no tools necessary
No assembly required
User manual and care instructions available here
Dimensions: 50"L x 20"W x 8"D
Weight: 14.4 lbs

Additional Photos:

In the box:

(1) Kid Kraft Adjustable Tween Lounger (choose either pink or denim)

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Art101 225-Piece Deluxe Art Set

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:00:08 -0600

Where Art Comes From

Long ago, there were no known colors. There was only Arthur, or Art for short.

Art lived in a gray hut in an expansive gray dessert. Nothing much happened in Art’s life. He ate a little gray bowl full of little gray food three times every day, tended to his little gray well, and was generally content.

Then one day, a billowing gray storm rolled in and knocked his gray hut to bits. All Art could salvage from the wreckage was his gray sack. “I will take this gray sack and I will walk until I find somewhere else to live,” he said to himself.

So he walked. And walked. And walked some more, until he found, on one of the dunes, a lone lemon. Its bright yellow hue took him by surprise. “What magnificent orb is this?” Art wondered aloud. He decided to put it into his sack and take it with him. “When I find my new home, I will create a tool with which to reproduce that color,” he declared to no one.

Then he walked again for a long time, until, in a deep valley, he found an apple. “Look at this dark, beautiful object,” he thought. “I shall bring this along as well, and create a second tool to render its complexion.”

And so Art walked on, until he found a patch of grass. “Look here at this vibrant growth,” he said, taking a clump into his hand…

EDITOR: Whoa, hold on, is this going where I think it’s going? With Art picking up something for each and every piece in this 225-Piece Deluxe Wood Art Set by Art101?

Well, that was the plan…

EDITOR: No! No, no, no, no. I know we pride ourselves on the whole “creative freedom” thing here at Woot, but there’s no way that you are writing 225 paragraphs, understand?

But that totally undermines the story I had going! Don’t you see: the character Art stands for art!

EDITOR: Well, you don’t say? Art? Is art?? WOW! I HAD NO IDEA! But, regardless of your symbolism – which is about as subtle as a bowling ball lit on fire – the order still stands. You’re going to have to cut this down.

How?

EDITOR: I don’t know, you’re the writer. What if he finds something with a bunch of colors? Like, a rainbow?

Art can’t take a rainbow with him.

EDITOR: Okay, a peacock! There, that should kill all the colors and everything, right? You’re going to need all sorts of crayons and pastels and watercolor cakes to do a peacock, right?

You really expect someone to trudge through a dessert with a peacock in a sack? C’mon! That’s ridiculous!

EDITOR: What? You’re talking about a guy who lives in an entirely gray world and eats unnamed gray food. The reader’s disbelief is thoroughly suspended. But fine, come up with something else if you want. But it needs to knock out at least twenty colors at once, so that you can move this thing along, okay?

Oh, I got just the thing. How’s this work: Then Art walked until he found a 225-Piece Deluxe Wood Art Set by Art101. THE END. STORY’S OVER.

EDITOR: Look, I was just trying to help. You don’t need to be so passive aggressive about it.

Not for Children under 4 Years

Recommended for Ages 8 and Up

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Condition: New

Features:

Unleash the artist within using this 225-piece art set
Art supplies are encased in a dark wood box with silver latches and hinges
Fold up easel and lapboard/backboard are included

Additional Photos:

Includes:

(70) Crayons
(36) Color Pencils
(36) Oil Pastels
(20) Watercolor Cakes
(20) Color markers
(20) Sheets of sketch paper
(9) Paper Clips
(3) Paintbrushes
(2) Large clips
(1) Mixing palette
(1) sketch pencil
(1) Eraser
(1) Pencil sharpener
(1) Ruler
(1) Sponge
(1) Lapboard
(1) Fold up easel
(1) Wood case

In the box:

Art101 225-Piece Deluxe Wood Art Set, Model No. 33225 (Colors May Vary)

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Little Tikes Character Sports Talk to Me

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 00:00:31 -0600

Games Tikes Play

Wait – there are other sports besides football?

Oh, riiiight. Those other ones, yeah. Batball and netball and, that other one, the one where you kick it but that’s not kickball. I’ve been so fixated on the big game, I kinda forgot that balls could be round.

I guess these other sports have their place. Takes all kinds, right? With 40-some encouraging phrases and bunch of silly sound effects, these Little Tikes Talk To Me Sports Sets will keep those quaint traditions alive for the kids of today. Can’t hurt to school the youngsters in the pastimes of yesteryear. Maybe I’ll teach them barrel-making next.

Of course, if any kid of mine plays with one of these Little Tikes Talk To Me Sports Sets in my living room on a Sunday between September and February, I will put he or she up for adoption.

Recommended for Ages 18 Months and Up

Warranty: 1 Year Limited Little Tikes

Condition: New

Features:

These fun and interactive toys are just the right size for toddlers and great for promoting active play, exercise and fitness
The encouraging phrases and fun sound effects make practicing exciting
More than 40 different phrases and silly sounds mean they will have fun even when they miss
Two active pretend play modes: Learning and Freestyle
- Learning Mode: The character counts (1-10) every time the child hits the ball (baseball) or makes a goal (basketball & soccer)
- Freestyle Mode: Encouraging and silly phrases keep children on the go
Speaks English
Animated face makes the character come to life
Random silly sounds when child “bumps” unit
Durable and sturdy
Easy to assemble

Character Sports™ Talk to Me Baseball Set:

Product Video
The lightweight, over-sized bat and ball lets kids make contact easier
2-position Tee Ball for left or right hand batters
T-Ball set also includes 1 bat and 2 soft baseballs
Requires (3) AA alkaline batteries, included

Additional Photos:

Character Sports™ Talk to Me Basketball Set:

Product Video
Large hoop makes scoring easy
8-position detachable ball chute
Set includes 1 soft plastic basketball
Requires (3) AA alkaline batteries, included

Additional Photos:

Character Sports™ Talk to Me Soccer Set:

Product Video
The goal and ball are just the right size for toddlers
Soft-fabric elastic net for easy ball return
Includes 1 soccer goal and 1 soft plastic soccer ball
Requires (3) AA alkaline batteries, included

Additional Photos:

PLEASE NOTE: Store indoors, not weatherproof. These toys are not intended for outdoor use.

In the box:

(1) MGA Entertainment Little Tikes Talk to Me Set (Choose: Baseball, Basketball or Soccer)

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100% Micro-Fleece Hat & Mittens Set

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:00:22 -0600

It ain’t easy bein’ little.

A product like this really illustrates how rough kids have it.

You know what the hardest part of dealing with small children is? It’s not laughing in their face at their hopes and fears and concerns. Hear us out, we don’t mean it quite as mean as you probably think. It’s just that, well, kids are so tiny and cute and they start developing their own personalities complete with day-to-day lives and concerns, and as an adult it’s hard to hear them complain about not having a yellow crayon the way your dad might bemoan his no good jerk of a boss without smiling and squealing, “That’s ADORABLE!”

It’s not their fault they’re so little and their voices are so high and when their faces scrunch up in frustration it makes you just want to pinch their cheeks or pick them up and twirl around the room saying in a big, exaggerated voice, “WHO’S MY WIDDLE ANGWY BOY?”

Imagine that. Imagine every time you had to vent, or had a legitimate gripe about something that was really weighing heavily on your mind, that before the words finished leaving your mouth someone patted you condescendingly on the head and said something like, “Oh, cheer up champ! Just wait ‘til you’re older and you have bills!” or, “That’s so cute!” Can you imagine how dismissive that must feel? How the wind would leave your sails every time? It’s got to be frustrating.

We bring it up only because it’s inevitable that at some point your child is going to come to you, frustrated about something, while wearing this Hot Head Hats Micro-Fleece and Matching Mittens set. And we encourage you to try and stifle your laughter as they put on their pouty face and say something in their serious voice like, “We’re out of juice!” with the passion of a talk radio call-in listener as you take in the heartwarming sight of your child, genuinely concerned about something seemingly trivial and grumbling while walking around in a purple kitty hat or a floppy-maned lion hat.

Because it’s going to be absolutely darling.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Condition: New

Recommended Ages: 6 Months – 7 Years

About Hot Head Hats

Hot Head Hats is a family-owned company. They have been in the business of making quality headwear and accessories for children for over 15 years. The character-themed hats were inspired by their own children, as they were trying to make a hat and design that kids would keep on their heads!

Features:

Each Set features a 100% Polyester Micro-Fleece fully-lined hat with velcro closure and matching mittens
Perfect for cold weather
Great for imaginative play too

Additional Photos:

In the box:
Since Woot does not recommend tagging your kid like the side of a building, choose which set will help you identify your kid best while on the playground.

(1) Hot Head Hats 100% Micro-Fleece Hat and Mitten Set

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JJ Cole Original Bundleme and Hat

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:00:15 -0600

Drawing Boundaries

Fine, fine, I’ll take your baby out for a walk. Just stick it in the stroller so I can get this over with.

Are you kidding? You’re going to put it in that thing? Okay, sorry, are you going to put “him” in that thing? Does he really need plush inner shearling and Thermaplush™ on the outside just to go outside? It’s bad enough I’m going to be seen with him for as long as it takes to go around the block, but is maximum warmth and comfort really something we have to worry about? And how am I supposed to know if he’s gonna… You know… “Do his business” or whatever while he’s zipped up all nice and snug in there?

You know what? You’re right. He’s ours, not just yours, and we should share the responsibility of taking care of him. I’m sure he’ll whine when he’s ready to come back inside, and the JJ Cole Original Bundleme is machine washable in case he has an accident, right? Right.

But, honey, I absolutely draw the line at you putting that plush shearling hat that came with it on the pug. I can only be emasculated so much.

Warranty: 90 Day JJ Cole

Condition: New

Recommended Ages:

Bundleme Infant: 0-1 Year or up to 21 lbs
Bundleme Hat: 0-6 Months

Features:

Original Bundleme

With a plush inner shearling and luxuriously soft outer Thermaplush™, your baby will enjoy maximum warmth and comfort
Use with openings for 3-point and 5-point harnesses, car seats, strollers and joggers
Allows safety straps to rest directly on child
Removable top for easy temperature control
Machine washable
Crash tested- FMVSS 213 - Click HERE for more info

Bundleme Hat

Made with the same plush shearling as the original Bundleme
Perfect Bundleme compliment
Stretch polyester lining grows with newborn
Machine washable

Product Video: See Bundleme In Action! Click HERE!

Additional Photos:

Original Bundleme – Infant

Front Panel Dimensions: 27”L x 21”W
Back Panel Dimensions: Full 36”L x 24”W / Upper Section 18”L / Seat 18”L
Weight: 1.10 lbs
Material: Outer: 100% Polyester / Inner: 100% Polyester / Filling: 100% Polyester

Bundleme Hat

Dimensions: 9”L x 1.5”W x 6”H // 16” Inner Circumference
Material: Outer: 100% Polyester / Inner: 96% Nylon, 4% Lycra

In the box:
Choose the COLOR of the JJ Cole Bundleme and Hat that you wish YOU could wear.

(1) JJ Cole Original Bundleme
(1) JJ Cole Bundleme Hat
User Guide / Instruction Manual

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K’NEX Hot Shot! Video Coaster

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 00:00:13 -0600

Should’ve Parodied The Paul Williams Version Instead

Alexander? You want to tell me why I got a letter from Gene Simmons’ lawyer this morning?

Buddy, we talked about this, okay? Remember what I said? That if I got you the K’NEX Hot Shot! Video Coaster you’d have to read up on all the complex laws involving trademark and copyright before you started making little movies? Oh, you did, huh? Well, then, why am I reading a cease and desist from the God of Thunder himself?

You don’t know, huh? Well, talk me through it. What did you do first? Okay, you used the K’NEX building pieces to assemble a huge roller coaster from the color-coded instructions… like the one over there? You built that? Wow, that is a nice roller coaster. Good job on that part.

But the part where you made a little movie where my Gene Simmons action figure gets run over by a roller coaster? Yeah, that’s the part that worries me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the shots you chose are fantastic. How’d you manage to get- oh, I see, the green car uses a built-in camera? And you can remove it and mount it on six fixed points to create “third person” shots? Then move it all to a computer with the supplied USB cable? I guess you could also use an SD card too, since I see the SD card slot. Too bad one wasn’t included and we’ll have to buy it separately.

But all that’s incidental to this letter I’m holding! Alexander, I raised you to be a KISS fan, and you know Gene’s very sensitive about roller coasters! That’s right, because he feels bad for being trapped into filming KISS Meets The Phantom Of The Park. So if you know that, why in the world did you use his trademarked image in your otherwise well-directed movie?

What? Look at the document? Well, okay, but… wait, is that… is that Gene Simmons’ signature on the bottom? Aw, Alexander! Did you do all this just to trick Dr. Love into giving your old man an autograph? C’mere and let me give you a big hug! You’ll always be my Paul Stanley, buddy!

…but probably you’re not going to get to go to college. Yeah, Gene’s pretty serious about the business side of things, from what I hear. He’s probably gonna eat us alive at trial.

Warranty: Limited Lifetime K’NEX

Condition: New

Recommended Ages: 9 Years and Up

Features:

Combines the ultimate K’NEX building experience with a digital video camera that lets you share your creation with friends and family
With an on-board digital video camera, builders can now see what it would be like to ride their own creations
Share your building achievements with friends and family and even edit your own personalized movies
This giant roller coaster comes with over 700 building pieces, a motorized chain lift and sprawls over 4 feet long
Follow the color-coded instructions to build this exciting thrill ride step-by-step
Record in-ride footage using the green car with built-in camera, or record 3rd-person footage by replacing the green car with the orange alternate car
(6) Mounting Points on the track can be used to secure the green video camera car for close-up, fly-by shots
Footage easily downloads to a computer using the supplied USB cable
Hot Shot! Video Coaster is great for builders, tech-heads and roller coaster enthusiasts
Instructions for an alternate build are available on www.knex.com or RIGHT HERE!
Watch K’NEX Hot Shot! Video Coaster IN ACTION!

Additional Photos:

Technical Specifications

Actual Assembled Dimensions: 50"L X 25"W x 22.5"H
Requires (2) “AA” batteries (not included)
The green video camera car includes a rechargeable battery, which recharges using the supplied USB cable

Digital Video Camera

The video camera features 16MB of internal memory and can record 15+ seconds of footage
Additional footage can be stored by adding a Micro SD card (up to 2GB / not included) to the camera’s expansion slot
The camera features a resolution of 320 x 240, and records footage as an AVI (file) at 30 frames-per-second (fps)

Video Camera System Requirements:

Operating system: Windows, XP and 2000; or MAC OS 9.2 or higher
CPU Speed: Intel Pentium III 800 MHz or higher
Memory: Requires at least 128MB RAM & 80MB of free space
Software: Supports USB 1./1 and MSDC (Mass Storage Device Controller)

In the box:

(1) K’NEX Hot Shot! Video Coaster – Model# 51075

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Lamaze Ignite Stroller

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:00:24 -0600

Pushed Around

I know Mom wanted me to take you to the playground today, buddy, but trust me. That whole place was bad news.

Ugh. I don’t know about you, kiddo, but I got the shivers as soon as we got out of the car. Those weren’t kids, honey. Those were savages, all screaming and yelling and knocking each other down and jumping off stuff they weren’t supposed to climb on. And their lazy parents, geez, did you get a load of them? I don’t think any one of them looked up from their phones the whole fifteen seconds we were there. No way was I setting you loose to face that mob. Oops, you’ve got a little whipped cream on your nose. There. Daddy got it.

And, I mean, did you see the size of that slide? That thing was so big it might as well empty out into an emergency room. And why do they have to make it a tunnel the whole way down, huh? That’s just crazy, if you ask me. What if for some reason you got stuck coming down and one of those grunting proto-children came rocketing down and kicked you in the head? Daddy would go to jail for breaking a smartphone against some idiot parent’s face, that’s what. Does that sound like more fun than sitting in your Lamaze Ignite Stroller and getting ice cream with your old man? Heck no, it doesn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, kid. I’m all for you getting some fresh air. I’m more than happy to have you seated comfortably and safely in the five-point harness and we stroll around the park or neighborhood on the eight six-inch wheels. With all this storage space and these nice tall handles, I could take you out all day if necessary. But that back there screamed “YOU GUYS SHOULD GO GET SUNDAES.” I’m pretty confident I made the right decision. How about you, champ?

Man, this parenting thing isn’t so bad as long as I keep you away from other stupid people and their kids. I guess you still need exercise, though. Maybe you could conveniently make Mom chase after you at bath time or something. That should do it.

Warranty: 1 year Lamaze

Condition: New

Features:

Easier for you, more comfortable for your baby
Comfortably fits children up to 50 pounds
Features today’s popular Euro-styled frame combined with contemporary fashions to deliver a stroller that you will love to use
Wider seat base means a more comfortable ride for your child, which will keep them in their seat longer
The eight large wheels (6” diameter) allow your stroller to glide over any surface
Five-point harness to keeps your child securely seated
Taller handles mean no more hitting the back side of the stroller or the wheels while walking
Fully adjustable and removable canopy provides the comfort of shade
Recline feature allows child to comfortably snooze while you walk
Large upper storage console provides easy access to your water bottle, keys, wallet and more
Underneath storage provides plenty of room for a diaper bag and any other extras you bring or buy along the way
When you stop, the rear wheel brakes (and front wheel swivel locks) will allow the stroller to stay in place
Easy one-hand fold design

Technical Specifications:

Dimensions: 34.5” L x 18.5” W x 39” H
Weight: 14 lbs

Additional Photos:

In the box:

(1) Lamaze Ignite Stroller (choose either Black/Red or Brown/Blue)

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