
Prisoner of the Mantis-God!
The ruined city sat deathly quiet under a cold white moon. Skogar’s keen barbarian senses told him there was no life lurking in the deep purple shadows. And yet, he felt… a presence…
Rounding a corner, he saw the tower. It loomed over the shattered city walls like a single candle looms over a half-eaten birthday cake, if the candle also radiated a supernatural malevolence. Skogar shuddered. Its roof was pitched, pointed, grooved, cutting a cruel silhouette against the cobalt sky. And the tower’s rounded walls, Skogar reckoned, appeared to be formed of crystal. Oh, to be home again among clear mountain streams, rather than the wreckage of some bygone, accursed race! Oh, to be knife-fighting gleefully with his brothers, and away from the stink and stain of civilization!
A scream pierced his ears then, a single womanly scream. If he was going to rescue the Khakhamite chieftain’s daughter, Skogar knew he must follow the sound, even into the forbidding tower. He swallowed his superstitious terror in one mighty brain-gulp and readied his mighty sword-
“Justin! Juuuuustiiiin! Where are you? Do you have my Praying Mantis Pagoda?”
“No.”
Another scream redounded, but this time from a throat far less comely – a shriek, really, or a howl, from some ghastly foulness like a giant praying mantis or a stupid older sister. Finding no entry at ground level, Skogar scaled the sheer outer walls. Through their crystal haze in the midnight gloom, he thought he saw an inhuman shape moving inside. His blood chilled, but Skogar’s climb only quickened, the sooner to dispatch the vileness to whatever sorcerer’s hell whence it ca-
“There you are! I knew it! You are playing with my Praying Mantis Pagoda!”
“It’s not a pagoda! It’s the Temple of the Praying Devourer!”
“Don’t say that about Keithie! He’s my pet and I love him! Now give it back so I can feed him! Who’s hungry for aphids? Do you want some aphids, sweet widdle Keithie?”
“I’m playing with it! Let go!”
“It’s mine! I’m the one who sent away for the eggs, I’m the one who paid the additional $3 shipping charge for the eggs, I’m the one who raised Keithie from when he was a nymph, I’m the one who released the other nymphs into the wild! You’ve never done anything for Keithie and that’s why he hates you!”
“He does not! He wants to devour this barbarian jelly bean! You never let him do anything fun!”
“Give it back!”
“Take it! I dare you!”
“Give it back right now!”
“No! No!”
“Let go or the lid’s gonna come off and- OH GREAT! NOW LOOK!”
“I didn’t do it! You did it!”
“Keithie! Keithie, come back!”
“It was a stupid pet anyway. He never liked you. Bugs can’t like people.”
“Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!”
The fists rained down on Skogar, but behind the arms he’d thrown up to protect his face, he wore a grim smile. The Praying Devourer had fled, his temple in ruins.
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