They'd probably say things like:
Wear me to show off your undying love for your favorite characters and also to keep your feet toasty warm!
I'm glad you love me so much, kid, but you have to take me off sometime to wash me. For everyone's sake.
Oh, OK. So you're going to wear HIM today instead of me? No no. That's fine. I SAID THAT'S FINE.
WATCH OUT for that melted ice cube puddle on the kitchen fl ... ew ew ew ew ew.
No, I haven't seen the other half of my pair. Have you looked under the bed?
HEY GUYS! I'M UNDER THE BED, GUYS. GUYS?
We have an idea. Just bear with us on this one. How about, just for today, you DON'T match us? Wouldn't that be soooooo FREEING!
I have something to tell you, and I need you to be brave. I have a hole. Yes, in my toe region. But also my heart. It's been fun, kid. I'll never forget you.
HEY GUYS, LOOK! I'M A HOBO MITTEN, NOW.